Posts Tagged ‘woman issues’

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

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WOMAN IN ESPIONAGE

Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker over- looking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA when there was a rap on the front door.

Tubularsock, never the trusting type, put on his extra thick bomb proof stealth-suit and moved ever causally (because Tubularsock keeps his cool) to the underground bunker camouflaged door just beyond the underground moat that as moats tend to do surrounds the underground bunker.

Opening the quadruple-thick underground bunker door Tubularsock was surprised to find a deck of “trading cards”, sixteen in all, bundled together with a small stack of dynamite attached to a $16,400.00 Men’s Rolex-Presidential-Watch ……. ticking!

Of course, as a man of action Tubularsock’s eyes focused on the sixteen trading cards

and realized that they were the artist Mary Yordy’s WOMEN IN ESPIONAGE series.

What luck!

Tubularsock glanced at the ticking $16,400.00 Men’s Rolex-Presidential-Watch and noted that there was just enough time to review the sixteen escapades of the sixteen women in espionage cards with historical details before Tubularsock would have to disengage the dynamite.

Time was of the essences!

Now Tubularsock is not going to divulge the contents of these WOMEN IN ESPIONAGE trading cards. For that you’ll have to order your own. After-all time is ticking.

But Tubularsock is going to review just one and that one is Julia Child ……..

Yep, Julia was a spy for Great Britain during WW2 and worked with “top secret” information for the OSS in Ceylon.

Tubularsock should have guessed!

Julie on live TV with her bare hands would rub an entire dead chicken carcass with olive oil and rub it continuously …….. there is something just not right about that!

But Julie could and did do that ……… it was just too Guantanamoish for Tubularsock.

Tubularsock should have picked up on that.

Anyway …… each card provides a picture and a short bio of each woman and her role in espionage. Many will surprise you and bottom line …… they are just fun to own or give.

tube espionage

Now Mary Yordy is an artist from North Carolina. And North Carolina is somewhere over the Rockies and may even be a foreign country like most things East of the Rockies to Tubularsock. But whatever.

Tubularsock doesn’t know or have any vested interest in selling these Trading Cards but just thinks they are worth having.

So here is a link for you so you can give a set to your stupid Republican uncle for fucking Christmas if you want …….. or not!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/WomenInEspionage

Oh, Tubularsock almost forgot!

With only a nano-second left, that would even raise hairs on the back of James Bond’s neck, Tubularsock poured a double shot of Wild Turkey neat, not stirred or shaken, and cut the yellow wire.

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