Well Saints Be Praised! Ok, maybe not Saints as Tubularsock comes to think about it.
Just what has Saints done for Tubularsock lately ……. can’t think of a thing!
Saints don’t really seem much good if you look at it. They are all dead for starters. That in itself is a downer. They usually are made of stone and they stand on pedestals. Usually OVER you ……… fuck that!
Tubularsock has always thought he’d make a great Saint. He’s stoned for starters and then …….. well, like heaven dude. What a fucking great job. And with a title, Saint Tube!
Ok. Let’s get grounded ………
And what better way than to enter fantasy land.
The Secret Service wants to spend $8 million dollars to build a replica of the White House and the White House grounds so as to have a training site that is a “more realistic environment, conducive to scenario-based training exercises,” according to Joseph Clancy, the director of the Secret Service.
Where in the fuck is Walt Disney when we need him? No really, Pirates of the Caribbean via the White House! That seems to fit!
Now this idea has all come about because the Secret Service has fucked up in its role of protecting the President and his family that something has to be done to show that they care about holding on to their jobs!
Now Joe states that, “Right now, we train on a parking lot, basically. We put up a makeshift fence and walk off the distance between the fence at the White House and the actual house itself. We don’t have the bushes, we don’t have the fountains, we don’t get a realistic look at the White House.”
No really, they don’t get a realistic look at the White House. That is important!
“It’s important to have a true replica of the White House so we can do a better job of integrated training between our uniform division officers, our agents and our tactical teams,” Joe informs us.
Now really, $8 million?
How about paying a little more to the uniform division to stay awake on the job. Tubularsock for $8 million could find competent people to stand guard at every fucking door at the White House 24/7/365!
Training? A fucking guy jumps the fence, runs across the fucking lawn that is longer than a football field opens an unlocked FRONT door of the residence enters the East Room and starts to run up the stairs before anyone notices?
And having an $8 million fake White House will provide better training than LOCKING THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR?
Excuse Tubularsock, “where’s my bong?”
Ahh, refreshed again ………….
Now after the latest “home invasion” of the White House the secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Jeh Johnson appointed a panel of security EXPERTS and being experts they recommended that immediately A HIGHER FENCE was in order. Hey guys, WE are paying these fuckers. Wow, A HIGHER FENCE. Now that is expert thinking!
And on top of that these EXPERTS posed that “problems exposed by recent events go deeper than a new fence can fix.” No shit Dick Tracy!
But rather than concluding that the Secret Service should 1. stay awake, 2. lock the door, and 3. heighten the fence these experts recommended that employees train “in conditions that replicate the physical environment in which they will operate.”
The conclusion: an $8 million Disneyland White House!
But that is not all! The Secret Service budget request includes
funds to renovate a “live-fire shoot house” and to repair and enhance a “tactical
village” training site that aims to recreate a city street environment.
Now just what could go wrong with that idea?
But like always Joseph Clancy, the director of the Secret Service and Jeh Johnson, secretary of the Department of Homeland Security missed a key point when it comes to “conditions that replicate the physical environment in which they (the Secret Service) will operate.”
Tubularsock recommends that an additional $10 million be appropriated to build an exact replica of a Colombian brothel, and a Florida brothel, and a Washington, D.C. brothel so as to “. . . replicate the physical environment in which they (the Secret Service) will operate.” For some reason the Secret Service seem to have an enlarged libedo and a lot of time on their hands.
Tubularsock just likes to get down to real.
And what is REAL?
Simple!
If the Secret Service uniformed division officers, agents and tactical teams would tend to their job of protecting the White House and the President and his family and just STOP FUCKING AROUND the “problem” would be solved.
Tubularsock would hire “greeters” from Walmart to protect the White House. Damn, everyone is afraid of old fucks! And let the Saints go marching in. Amen.
Don’t miss D.C. Percilla’s take on all this …………. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqBxf7qMVfY
Tubularsock 