Posts Tagged ‘President Tweet’

ALIAS MELANIA: COATTEXTURAL

You see, Melania doesn’t have a Twitter Account because the White House Twitter Account is always filled up before she gets up in the morning with “tweets” that Donald has tweeted all night and morning.

So, poor, poor immigrant Slovenian alien Novo Mesto, who may have been a rapist or one of those “really bad hombres”, from Slovenian entered the U.S under an alias.

She entered the U.S. using the name, Melanija Knavs. Some may say that entering a country using an alias raises questions. Especially when it was discovered that she made her money by parading her body around.

Yes, there is a name for that ………..

In 2005 Melanija changed her name again to her second alias, Melania Trump.

But as Tubularsock often says, “A woman in her line of work changes her name often!”

And using a tactic often used by slimy, unfit, creepy Slovenian aliens she brought her no account parents to the U.S using “CHAIN MIGRATION” and they became American citizens living off the American culture!

Man-O-man, how Tubularsock can digress ……….

Back to alias Melania and coats.

Melania uses coats much like Donnie uses Twitter. As a means to communicate.

And this little known communication form for people like Tubularsock who are “in the know”, is called: COATTEXTUAL .

Which, if you are intelligent enough, needs no explanation.

Now you remember the coattextual message alias Melania displayed when she flew off from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland in June, 2018, right?

She was off to visit detained immigrant children who had been separated from their families by her husband’s administration and put in cages.

The coattextual message was “I REALLY DON’T CARE DO U?
Her press secretary at the time, Stephanie Grisham, stated: ““It’s a jacket, there was no hidden message.”

And hell, Grisham, was correct! THERE WAS NO HIDDEN MESSAGE! For sure!

Which Tubularsock took to mean that alias Melania and Donnie must keep Barron in a cage locked up in the White House. Seems reasonable.

Oh sure it was a designer jacket ……. is there any other kind?

Well now, alias Melania again made another coattextual message but this time it was WAY-WAY more impressive in terms of being a clandestine coattextual message or as we in the trade say, a CCM!

And 15 months later, Stephanie Grisham, is now Donnie’s press secretary, and her statement for this CCM was a dismissive, “ridiculous”. Which is a clear sign that it is true!

Tubularsock loves this one.

On the back of alias Melania’s 9/11 coat, many people said they thought the stitching around the vent resembled a skyscraper and the button flap looked like a plane crashing into it.

Oh sure it was a designer jacket ……. is there any other kind?

Well, you tell Tubularsock what it looks like to you.

And as they say …….. if the coat fits, wear it! Or is that shoes?
Well as long as it’s Coattextual.

 

 

 

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CHANGE IN THE AIR?

The Congress in secret session, as reported by officials who were not authorized to discuss personnel matters publicly and spoke on condition of anonymity, concluded that the new Secretary of the Deplorables’ ideas for reforming the Executive Branch, specifically the Office of the President, have been taken under advisement and may be implemented in the near future.

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A White House aide who asked to remain unnamed told Tubularsock “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news” reporter on the scene that a plan that was devised in an uptown cocktail and sake lounge in Georgetown was going to be implemented this coming week.

In fact, President Orange Tweet himself eluded to this fact in his rambling anti-press new conference last Thursday when he said, “We’re issuing a new executive action next week that will comprehensively protect our country.”

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And as everyone knows President Orange Tweet only signs the executive orders but doesn’t read them so Congress feels like the changes that have been put in place by the Secretary of the Deplorables will be implemented before the week is out.

THIS IS A NEW BREAKING STORY SO REMAIN CALM, DRINK PLENTY OF LIQUIDS AND REST.

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tube-letter-skate-headingSWAMP GAS PERSONIFIED!

“Draining The Swamp” ………… Now there is a catchy campaign slogan. It would have to be ranked within the top ten best campaign slogans of all time. Right up there with “Peace In Our Time” and “I Am Not A Crook”!

And the best thing about campaign slogans are NO ONE BELIEVES them but everybody BELIEVES them.

Psychologists have a scientific term for people who “believe but don’t believe” at the same time and that term is

“FUCKED UP”!

It really falls into the category of subliminal messaging. You know it is too good to be really true BUT you WANT IT TO BE TRUE. And then when you find you’ve been “had again” you toss it off as “just a campaign slogan” and go on with your business UNTIL NEXT TIME.

That is just how fucked-up-humans tick and the PR firms that run political campaigns as well as dog food advertising know exactly how to manipulate you ….. AND YOU KNOW IT! So you see we are right back where we started with the psychologist’s scientific term!

Now that Tubularsock has established that YOU are the problem let Tubularsock take a look at the swamp. Contrary to the urban legend, Washington D. C.  was not built on a reclaimed swamp, but wetlands did cover areas along the Potomac River. And the Tiber Creek, a natural watercourse, ran through the National Mall until the 1870’s.

So Washington was built on “low ground” or “near swamp” level so the idea of “Draining The Swamp” has had to come from the experience of shaking the hand of the first Senator you have ever met. And exponentially continues from there. Logical, yes?

Well as a result of Trump’s victory, of sorts, he has already lost his way and has gotten right on the escalator to hell but being Trump believes he is going up.

But Tubularsock will give Trump his due ……. Trump has proceeded in putting together THE CABINET OF COMEDY. And this may be the BEST EVER Apprentice-esque Show to date!

“No, really. They are the greatest, they are fantastic, they are the biggest!”

And because of their lack of intelligence in pretty much any expertise he has picked them to do they’ll do what they do best, produce SWAMP GAS! But this will be “the greatest Swamp Gas! No Swamp Gas will be as great as THE CABINET OF COMEDY’S swamp gas!”

“None!”

Just you wait and see!

Rex Tillerson, Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos. THE SWAMP GAS-ETTES!

Rex Tillerson, Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos.
THE SWAMP GAS-ETTES!

 

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tube-heading-hipLET THE CLOWN CLONE, CLOWNS!

You may not have heard or you have heard but it didn’t ring of importance to you.

Fortunately Tubularsock is here to connect the dots!

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Yeah, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is going to close down in May of this year. The reasons they say are “declining attendance, high operating costs, changing public tastes, and prolonged battles with animal rights groups”.

But that is all bogus!

The REAL REASON is they can not compete with the REAL CIRCUS coming to town:
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And it just happens that Tubularsock took his trusty little brownie fully automatic reverse lens camera-camera to grab just the beginnings of the
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You will not see any of these photos from any other news outlet because in Tubularsock’s clandestine-photo-imaging-technique Tubularsock had to literally do tricks to capture these shots!

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“In the Trump” there are many tricks and one of Trump’s best acts is keeping Tweets in the air at the same time!

 

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But Trump can even out do himself in his FUN child-like antics with foreign policy proclamations!

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But when all is said and done there is NOTHING LIKE ………. THE THREE CLOWN FULL MONTY  ……….. for total amusement!

 

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No really, with the likes of Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon covering Trump’s back you can’t get any more BAT-SHIT than that!

 

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PRESIDENT TWEET!

Tubularsock has waited two days to be sure that ALL the votes had been counted. Tubularsock wants to make it crystal clear that Tubularsock IS NOT responsible for taking votes from Hillary in Tubularsock’s own drive for the Presidency.

It is true that if you add all the votes cast for Tubularsock and divide by three and subtract two you’d see just how close Tubularsock came to winning in the non-swing states and just how close the swing states swung toward a Tubularsock Presidential victory.

Alas, Trump rigged the election and Hillary rigged the election both to keep Tubularsock from becoming the President of the United States!

And as Tubularsock HAS ALWAYS SAID, and you can quote Tubularsock, “Two rigs don’t make a right!”

So now, where do we go from here ……. it is a tough question. But the positive FACT is that when you are at the bottom of the barrel, direct down is a short distance.

What has just happened is that we have just had a REVOLUTION!

Tubularsock is elated that the “establishment-power-brokers” FAILED. And Tubularsock has been SO WRONG that the EPB’s would be able to swing the election for Hillary.

And THAT is after Tubularsock was SO WRONG that the “Republican-power-brokers” would not allow Trump the Republican nomination.

And as Tubularsock HAS ALWAYS SAID, and you can quote Tubularsock, “SO WRONG can be so right if wrong was right. Which has to be explained that a right wrong can’t be wrong when it’s right just like a wrong right can’t be right.”

So now with all that cleared up Tubularsock can wait for the train to wreck when it reaches a full speed crash. Bang-Crash!

Tubularsock is so pleased that the Hillary Machine was defeated and that the Trump Mess is about to ………. just what the fuck will the Trump Mess do.

Well the unfortunate part. Donnie doesn’t have a clue on how to shift any of his changes he called for in the campaign into reality. Talking about making America great when it really never was all that great to begin with and then doing it …….. well that is where the rubber hits the road.

But this is so much better than continuing the same old Shurb-Obomber-Clit going down the same old tracks to the same old conclusions.

This is our very first Tweeter President! Can it get better than that?

And think about this …….. Trump KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS JOB
and you can’t change the channel because it’s the ONLY GAME SHOW IN TOWN!

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The day after the election *** 11/9 *** will go down in the annals of American history as the shocking day that Donnie The Tweeter President shockingly takes hold of the country. It may even be another 9/11 in the making but backwards.

However what if Donnie is the REAL progressive not like Obama who was a progressive in sheep’s clothing with all that false hope and change which proved to be same old same old.

Or Hillary who wasn’t a progressive at all.

What if ……………

But Tubularsock is happy ……. change is possible just in the fact that if the people want something to change they REALLY DO have the voting power.

But we’ll have a long tumultuous downward spiral before that will happen. Hold on to your hat.

So come on America. Join hands:

LET’S MAKE AMERICA FAKE AGAIN!

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