Archive for the ‘James Clapper’ Category

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WADER’S CONFERENCE 2014

Many don’t realize just how influential Tubularsock actually happens to be in Washington, D.C.

At the current Wader’s Conference 2014 at the White House Tubularsock was lecturing the First Lady Michelle Obama on just how her current husband, the President of the United States has completely lost the ability to recognize BULL SHIT. Both his own which he is obliviously stepping in all the time and that of the Director of the NSA, General Keith Alexander and the that of the Director of National Intelligence, James Clapper.

 As both Alexander’s and Clapper’s wives have been reported as saying, as reported by a staff member who was not authorized to speak on bull shit, “Our husbands spit out more BULL SHIT from their mouths on any given day than a bull with diarrhea.”

Wow. Now just how can Tubularsock get such information from their wives ….. hey just trust Tube! I only collect Metadata. No really!

So President Obama still insists that NASA’s collecting every phone call, email, tweet, and everything else on every America is only done to protect us all from the massive terrorist threat that is US!

And this information collected will ONLY be used to stop the terrorist except for the twelve known incidents called LOVEINT a flippant term used to describe NSA analysts who misused their surveillance powers to spy on romantic interests instead of terrorists.

 But hey, NSA is only collecting metadata right?

Well some NSA analysts were busy focusing on a little more than meta! One analyst was spying on nine women over five years, a woman analyst was spying on prospective boyfriends, another analyst was checking on whether his girlfriend was “involved with any government officials”, and another woman analyst was spying on her husband to see if he was cheating on her. Do you get the picture? Tubularsock just doesn’t have time to make this shit up!

Metadata my ass!

A favorite photo Tubularsock took as he and Michelle and the President landed in the Rose Garden this weekend.

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THE LIE IN THE “TRUTH”: OBOMBER ON SYRIA

You know, Tubularsock wasn’t going to bother listening to Obomber’s speech Tuesday night because when it comes to Black Jive I prefer public transportation.

But I found myself tuning in to NPR radio for coverage because I am interested in Presidential-Spin no matter what party is running it. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Two things:

  1. The next time Congress wants to cut NPR’s governmental funding ……. I vote YES!

The commentators are in the BIG SLEEP and are piss poor at political coverage with any insight ………. they are very good at status quo! Depressing. Are they affiliated with FOX NEWS now? I guess it is no surprise, Tubularsock wants to go to the White House Press Corps Dinner too! Gosh, with a black tie and a suit prancing around! Could it get any better than that as a “journalist”?

       2.  There was not ONE, count them ………. NOT ONE point of PROOF that the Assad Government was the one that used Chemical Weapons. Not even a little one. No, Obomber assumed that Assad was guilty without a shred of evidence provided and NO ONE QUESTIONED HIS PREMISE. Even those that were against the action accepted the premise. Disgusting!

Yes, and children frothing at the mouth and the EXCEPTIONALISM of Americans with the ol’ God Bless America conclusion and Tubularsock almost got out his flag to wave next 4th of July with bombs bursting in air.

But the only way that Tubularsock can express this fallacious argument that Obomber is pushing is by this example and maybe those who themselves are in the deep sleep will get just a glimmer of understanding of the Obomber Logic of lie-in-the-”truth”. And perhaps better understand how this entire position was created. So Tubularsock will attempt this Herculean feat with a little allegory.

THE STORY: (all names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Let’s say that Barbrick Insomnia started to have suspicions that Michshella (his wife) was cheating on him. So he asks John Fury to follow Michshella and substantiates what Barbrick KNOWS is happening.

 

John Fury follows Michshella and she goes to MAIN STREET. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary and he reports back to Barbrick.

 

Barbrick Insomnia KNOWS that John Fury must be incorrect and tells him to check again. And follow up on this sighting of Michshella on MAIN STREET.

 

Barbrick then calls his good friend at the N_A (redacted) General Fumbleson and asks him to checkout MAIN STREET and report back to him.

 

Within minutes of Barbrick’s call to General Fumbleson of the N_A (redacted) and not just minutes AFTER Barbrick hung up the phone BUT just minutes BEFORE he dialed the phone the N_A (redacted) knew the nature of the incoming call and had prepared a full dossier on MAIN STREET.

 

John Fury returns to Barbrick’s office and reports that once again Michshella was seen on MAIN STREET and there was nothing out of the ordinary that occurred.

 

Barbrick was so furious that John Fury was taken aback.

 

The phone rings, not the RED phone but the RED, WHITE, and BLUE phone, and Barbrick knew that the N_A (redacted) was calling with the “known-knowns”!

Note: This following information was given to Tubularsock by a “highly placed government official in the Administration, who is just Biden his time, and is not authorized to speak to the press on this issue.

General Fumbleson from the N_A (redacted) reported that “a foreign person of interest” by the name of ISSAID was on MAIN STREET exactly the same time that Michshella was on MAIN STREET.

 

It was further disclosed that even though ISSAID was on EAST MAIN STREET and Michshella was on WEST MAIN STREET the link of MAIN STREET indicates that all the signs are present that Michshella and ISSAID were having an affair.

 

Barbrick was convinced but John Fury felt that as an adviser he must ask at least one probing question. Which was, “Is there concrete proof? Proof beyond a shadow of a doubt?”

 

General Fumbleson of the N_A (redacted), now on encrypted speaker phone answered,

“Ghrgte fbfgru gkdjdhey nbh jghdtsiwoy kgghff fhdjur!”

Note: Tubularsock has gotten from a well placed N_A (redacted) official that is not authorized to speak to the press on this issue but can verify that this top secret speaker phone encrypted answer is totally the proof needed and can not be told to the public in order to protect them. A relief, for Tubularsock to be told the TRUTH.

Barbrick and John both nodded their collective heads in the affirmative.

 

Both men agreed that action at this time may not be optimum politically due to the fact that it may look bad for Barbrick Insomnia to expose Michshella while she was in the middle of the Saving-American-Children-From-Being-Fat Campaign.

 

“In due time”, Barbrick said aloud as he lit his cigarette. “In due time”, echoed John Fury.

TO BE CONTINUED ………..

So remember: There was not ONE point of PROOF that the Assad Government was the one that used Chemical Weapons. Not even a little one.  Obomber ASSUMED that Assad was guilty without a shred of evidence provided and NO ONE QUESTIONED HIS PREMISE.

A premise without facts to prove it correct is called A GUESS. And to push A GUESS as the truth is a LIE. How many people do you feel should die for a lie?

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Ok. Syria has NOT signed on to the Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production, Stockpiling and Use of Chemical Weapons and on their Destruction. And the United States HAS signed on to this 1993 Convention.

Syria has the largest stockpile of chemical weapons in the Middle East!

The United States has the largest stockpile of chemical weapons IN THE WORLD!

Question one: Which nation is breaking their signed agreement commitment to the world community on stockpiling chemical weapons?

Now it has been confirmed that Saudi Arabia is providing chemical weapons to their paid mercenary “rebels” jihadist in Syria. Oh yeah, the CIA is involved!

Saudi Arabia signed the Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production, Stockpiling and Use of Chemical Weapons and on their Destruction in 1993.

Question two: Which nation is breaking their signed agreement commitment to the world community on the use of chemical weapons?

Thirteen countries declared chemical weapons production facilities: one of those countries is the United States! Yet the United States has signed the Convention to not Produce Chemical Weapons.

Is it just Tubularsock or do you too notice a preponderance toward hypocrisy here?

THAT is what bothers Tubularsock the most. I don’t think that Assad is a Mister-Nice-Guy but who in the hell are “we” (the U.S.) to call the kettle BLACK?

Now the ONLY thing the world knows FOR SURE is that some type of chemical was used in this recent event in Ghouta, Syria. That is it. 

So from Tubularsock’s research this is what Tubularsock believes happened.

The SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS were moving chemical weapons into position for a future operation. This has been confirmed by Yahya Ababneh an on the ground reporter for Mint Press News. He interviewed the rebels, their family members, victims of the chemical weapons attacks and local residents. (EXCLUSIVE: Syrians In Ghouta Claim Saudi-Supplied Rebels Behind Chemical Attack)

Because the “rebel forces” were not trained in or had knowledge of what they were moving and handling caused an “accident” and those weapons went off.

The shelling of the area by Assad’s forces contributed to the further release of the chemical stockpile of weapons in caves in the area.

All in all, disaster!

If you plug in all the different stories and explanations into THIS model it isn’t a deliberate action on either side.

Now again, Tubularsock is not attempting to make Assad out to be some kind of a good guy, he isn’t but you have to ask the question, why would he deliberately attack the SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS with chemical weapons knowing full well that the U.S. would then have the excuse it was looking for to enter this “CIVIL WAR” with more fire power?

Doesn’t make any sense. Assad may not be a good guy but he is not stupid. If you remember the last time chemical weapons were used it was the SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS that used them.

It makes more sense that the SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS were planing to use them to get the U.S. involved more directly but they went off prematurely. Either way it becomes an advantage to the SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS! 

All of the U.S. intelligence is being manipulated AGAIN in order to follow the PRE-DECIDED AGENDA rather than what actually occurred.

In fact the CIA’s Office of Weapons Intelligence, Nonproliferation and Arms Control (WINPAC) Center are evaluating the “evidence”. This is the very same center that twisted the 2002 Iraq WMD’s into a pretzel in order to make the case for invasion of Iraq.

It is clear that it is next to impossible to know what actually occurred and the Obama administration say that they can show that samples of blood and hair from medical personnel in eastern Ghouta had been found to contain traces of sarin nerve gas.

BUT NO WHERE IS THERE IS ANY DIRECT EVIDENCE THAT THE ASSAD GOVERNMENT USED THE CHEMICAL WEAPONS IN GHOUTA AS OPPOSED TO THE SAUDI PAID JIHADIST REBELS USING THEM!

What we have here is a pre-planned attack by the United States against the Assad Government and evidence being manipulated to back the pre-planned attack.

John Kerry  just happened to mention during his meeting with the Senate Committee on bombing Syria “ . . . that unnamed Arab countries had offered to “cover the cost” of the strikes.”  Hmmm, Tubularsock wonders which unnamed Saudi Arabia was he thinking!

And then there is this: “The use of force is lawful only when in exercise of self-defense in accordance with Article 51 of the United Nations charter and/or when the Security Council approves of such action.” That is a firm principle of the United Nations.”

 ………..UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

But the bottom line is: Obama said on Saturday he was “comfortable going forward without the approval of a United Nations Security

Council . . .”

 

Obama also has said that he is comfortable going forward without the House of Representatives approval.

 

AND WE CAN ASSUME OBAMA IS COMFORTABLE GOING FORWARD WITHOUT THE CONSENT OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE’ S APPROVAL WHO AT THE MOMENT ARE POLLING AT 63% AGAINST BOMBING SYRIA!

 

Hmm. Maybe in an Obama democracy the people AREN’T the government.

SO IF OBAMA DOESN’T SEEM TO THINK THAT HE NEEDS ANY APPROVAL TO BOMB SYRIA AND ALL THOSE WHO DON’T WANT HIM TO BOMB SYRIA DON’T SEEM TO COUNT THEN FOR WHOM IS HE BOMBING SYRIA? THINK ON THAT, MY FRIENDS!

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The wonderful thing about Congress is the fact that they are ALWAYS so …… well, on it.

Now after sitting on their, ahh …… brains, they are all activated over the NSA and the fact that the NSA will not release any information to Congress. Well it is all top secret, after all. Obummer tries to calm Tubularsock’s fears by telling me that I’m all safe and snugly because in our “check and balance system” Congress has oversight over what the NSA is doing and all is just working the way we were taught in 8th Grade civics.

But let Tubularsock give it to you in Obummer’s own words …….. “These programs are subject to congressional oversight and congressional reauthorization and congressional debate. And if there are members of Congress who feel differently, then they should speak up.”

So Congress rushed the doors of knowledge to find out the FACTS so they could do their oversight, reauthorization, and debate. Ok, they’ll do that right after they get back from their three week break. No really, this is an important issue about freedom vs a police state so as soon as they get back …………

As Congress rushed off they did say breathlessly that these NSA programs were such revelations to them all. Nobody ever told them (The programs are all top secret, after all.) how massive and invasive these programs were meant to be! Wow, total surprise, total surprise!

Tubularsock figures Google searches don’t work in Washington, D.C. for some reason. And simple logic and common sense seems in short supply as well.

NSA asks and receives a ZILLION dollars from Congress to run their secret programs and Congress is then surprised that all this spying is happening. What in the hell did the members of Congress think that that billion dollar file storage unit in Utah was going to be used for a Mormon dance hall?

So if Congress is so surprised about the NSA why did they all condemn Snowden for giving them the information that the NSA won’t give them? Maybe they should be giving him a fucking medal for doing something that Congress doesn’t have the power or ability to do.

Now when the members of the House spoke up as Obummer requested and attempted to remove funding to the NSA and stop the spying on all Americans it was the Republicans who made a stand and supported Obummer along with the Democratic Party’s leadership with Nancy Pelosi in the lead and voted it down.

But what is significant to anyone who is paying attention is that Nancy supported the NSA under Bush as well but acted like she didn’t. So did many of the Democratic Party leadership.

So Nancy Pelosi and 82 Democrats stood shoulder to shoulder with Michele Bachmann, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Peter King, Steny Hoyer and 129 Republicans to keep supporting the NSA spying on all Americans. Now that is bi-partisan collaboration if I’ve ever seen it. Who says the two parties can’t work together to keep the American public enslaved!

THE NSA TWINS

But the vote was close because 111 Democrats and 94 Republicans voted against oppression. Now can they keep that up and shift the tide from a police state mentality to an open society without government spying on the citizens? Stay tuned.

Now to pull off this round of spy control Obummer had to pull out all stops and rush the NSA top guns into the House to scare the members into THE FEAR OF THE TERRORISTS! (a la Bush & Cheney)

And to punch it up a notch the closing of all the embassies in the Middle East all of a sudden because of the EXCELLENT work of the NSA had just done in exposing the increase in “chatter” between the major players of Al Qaeda. Wow, and what perfect timing.

Interesting question: How many American citizen’s phone, emails, Facebook entries, Twitter statements, internet posts had anything to do with Al Qaeda “chatter” in the Middle East? 

But the fear of THE TERRORISTS is never complete without the reminder that THE HOMELAND is in constant danger.

Rep. Michael McCaul a Texan Republican and Chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security states that the State Department warning is significant because al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula is probably the biggest threat to the U.S. and are “ . . . the  faction of al Qaeda that still talks about hitting the West and hitting the homeland. And their expertise is chemical explosives, hitting the aviation sector, as we saw with the underwear bomber. So we are on a high state of alert.”

Let Tubularsock remind you about the underwear bomber (2009) because he seems to come up as the constant fear of the HOMELAND. He’s kind of like the Santa Clause of terror except he carries his presents in his shorts.

The NSA had “chatter” at the time about the underwear bomber but no real concrete information. The guy gets on Flight 253 in Amsterdam without a passport, with a oneway ticket he purchased in cash and with no luggage. (Now, who would suspect?)

It was the passengers and the flight crew that stopped him from his attempt to blow the plane up with a bomb style that had detonation issues. Not the NSA, the CIA, or the FBI.

Now, exactly how does reading your emails and listening in on your phone calls make the HOMELAND safer again? 

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It is always fun to watch all the outrage and grandstanding and the performance art around something like the realization that the NSA has been collecting data on the world and every single American citizen’s phone conversations, email exchanges, and feces discharges for years.

And it is so non-threatening that it is kept all TOP-SECRET!

And then we have the word games. Kind-of-like the Scrabble-of-lies that Obama, Anderson, Clapper, Feinstein, Pelosi seem to attempt to perfect during each Sunday morning political game show that the phoney-media perform weekly.

You see when the government states that it is NOT collecting information on Americans or anyone for that matter you have to understand the meaning of COLLECT in the terms of the NSA.

To the NSA, acquiring information like every phone call you make, every email exchange you take part in and every shit you perform IS NOT “collecting” information. That is called ACQUIRING INFORMATION.

COLLECTING INFORMATION to the NSA is only when the government “selects or tasks” that acquired information for “subsequent processing.” At that point it considers it “collecting” the information.

So acquiring tons of information and storing it into their data base forever is just acquiring information to the NSA and therefore denying “collection” on every American in their view is not lying because they don’t do that. They only collect information on selected American citizens.

Now how fun is that!

But better than that is the fact that the NSA acquires 3 billion phone calls each day and something in the order of 20+ terabytes of data per day.

Now granted these number are fluid and not exact and to prove that to you Tubularsock will admit right now that I have increased my data and phone use by half just to see if I could bring the NSA to a tipping point. To date my increase of 3 new phone calls per day and my data of 36KB per day has not thrown the NSA data capacity into chaos but how would Tubularsock really know because it’s TOP SECRET!

But think on this …………

Edward Snowden’s information, was released to the public, that the NSA was spying on everybody on June 9th and today is August 3rd. That is 56 days ago. In that time the Congress has discussed the NSA spying, the public has discussed the NSA spying, the world governments have discussed NSA spying, the mass media has followed Snowden to the ends of the earth and back and spent a great deal of time in the Moscow airport washroom and even discussed NSA spying, and they even propped up Dick Cheney to give us his criminal opinion about the subject and yet the NSA is still collecting 3 billion phone calls each day and something in the order of 20+ terabytes of data per day.

So you do the math:

56 x 3 billion =

56 x 20 terabytes =

And now Congress has gone off for their three week vacation but the NSA hasn’t.

Talk about treading water. We are going to drown in this police state.

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Ok. Tubularsock is just going to get you clear from the get-go about his jaded point of view.

Have you ever noticed what is really within a person’s name? Let me give you an example:

 

CLAPPER. Tubularsock’s first feeling with CLAPPER is ……… “will I need shots?” ….. “is it contagious?” …….. “is it sexually transmitted?” 

 

You know that sort of imagery.

 

And really, that is much more positive than when I think of James Clapper, Director of the U.S. Intelligence.

 

You see you might have missed this, 55 Senators did, so don’t feel bad if it had slipped your mind.

 

But just before the “Father’s Day Weekend” (what kind of fucking cover is that!) Thursday the 13th the top officials from the FBI and Justice Department, James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence and Keith Alexander, the head of the National Security Agency (NSA) all sat shoulder to shoulder and briefed the Senate Intelligence Committee on what a great job they were all doing stopping terrorism plots.

 

Fun side note: The Senators that took advantage of the short day and headed back to their home states for Father’s Day weekend just had to get home. But the short day was not short. It was only short if you didn’t go to the meet-up.

But maybe just maybe, in defense of these dead-beat Senators, they realized the level of pure undulating bull shit that was going to occur. You know when you are wearing a $3000. suit you don’t want it to get stained because whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly.

 

The briefing also included the former chief judge of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) court and his rubber stamp. The rubber stamp received an applause for it’s perfect service and incredible endurance.

 

“It’s hard to get this story out. Even now we have this big briefing — we’ve got Alexander, we’ve got the FBI, we’ve got the Justice Department, we have the FISA Court there, we have Clapper there — and people are leaving,” Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) said.

 

Well for Christ sake Diane, you scheduled this meeting at 2:30pm on a Thursday afternoon! When Congress is doing an eleven to two workday two days a week what do you expect. Thursday is fly home day and Monday is fly back day. Everyone knows that!

 

It is easy to get THIS story out ………. bend over Diane Intel penetrates again.

 

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