Archive for the ‘President Tweet’ Category

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DR. STRANGE-ORANGE

It has been recently released by sources that are close yet far enough away to feel safe to make a statement of truth that could affect their job yet are brave enough to expose this information as long as their exposer only affects someone’s job other their own.

During the campaign there were references made about Dr. Strange-Orange having his hand on THE RED BUTTON! Remember?

Well, just in the last couple of days the nation has been the most safe, *** EVER*** in many years.

It was reported by RAWSTORY and others that Richard DeAgazio, a Mar-A-Lago member, had been having a “photo op” with the officer carrying the “nuclear football”! Richard EVEN POSTED IT ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE!

You do recall that Mar-A-Lago is Donnie’s Palm Beach, Florida “Club”  where he hangs out when he is not in the Trump Towers or the White House. Oh sure, it cost a lot of tax-payer money for the secret service to protect these properties BUT TRUMP RENTS the space that it takes for the Secret Service to be “housed” at Mar-A-Largo and Trump Towers to the U.S. Government.

Hey, that is the Art of The Deal!

Now you have got to feel safe about that! RIGHT?

You know how those Ruskeys are on the verge of attacking Freedom Loving America at ANY GIVEN MOMENT!

But alas, Richard DeAgazio interrupted America’s possible existence to STOP an attack by having a photo-op with the officer handling the “nuclear football”!

But there is even more!

It has been rumored that the Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock has been taking in “side jobs” in order to maximize his connections.

And it has been reported that the Secretary of the Deplorables happened to be the “officer” carrying the “Nuclear Football” at the time of the “photo-op”!

There has been NO PROOF that the Secretary of the Deplorables was involved.

But alternative facts do lead to that conclusion, SEE FOR YOURSELF!

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IF FACTS WERE RATTLESNAKES …….. YOU’D BE BETTER OFF SEEING A DOCTOR!

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tube-heading-hipDESPERATE TIMES?

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SURE, TUBULARSOCK WILL NAIL THEM ………. THAT’S WHAT HE DOES.

DOES TUBULARSOCK MAKE HIS POINT?

 

For further information:

Tubularsock Black Arts Ltd.

SEND CASH ….. small unmarked Franklin’s.

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ORANGEFUSION!

The Cato Institute has never been a favorite American libertarian think tank for Tubularsock but occasionally EVEN they provide information worth looking at and this happens to be one of those times.

According to The Cato Institute,”the chance of an American perishing in a terrorist attack on U.S. soil that was committed by a foreigner over the 41-year period (1975-2015) studied . . . is 1 in 3.6 million per year.” (this is weighted by 9/11 where 2,605 U.S. citizens died)”.

“The chance of an American being killed in a terrorist attack committed by a refugee was 1 in 3.64 billion a year.” THAT IS BILLION WITH A “B”!

“The annual chance of being murdered by somebody other than a foreign-born terrorist was 252.9 times greater than the chance of dying in a terrorist attack committed by a foreign-born terrorist.”

So this over-the-top fear of terrorism on American soil killing YOU may be better spent looking out for buses while you cross the street. Trump hasn’t banned buses yet! Well, it’s only Thursday. Still time. But knowing Trump, it would have to be ONLY Moslim Buses!

But what is insane is the total OFF-THE-WALL Moslim ban to protect us from terrorism from countries who HAVE NEVER HAD A TERRORIST attack our citizens.

But countries that HAVE SENT TERRORISTS to attack us are NOT ON THE LIST!

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Care to figure out THAT logic?

Oh really don’t bother. It is the basis of American Foreign Policy …. it’s the way we roll!

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Tube ready headingLEARNING CURVE.

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Now we all have had bad days at work and what you have to do is just roll with the punches. Maybe President Orange Tweet (POT) may be going to have some trouble with BRINGING JOBS BACK TO AMERICA when the U.S. largest export is TERRORISM!

 

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tube-heading-friends“ALTERNATIVE FACT ONE”

 

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tube-letter-skate-headingSWAMP GAS PERSONIFIED!

“Draining The Swamp” ………… Now there is a catchy campaign slogan. It would have to be ranked within the top ten best campaign slogans of all time. Right up there with “Peace In Our Time” and “I Am Not A Crook”!

And the best thing about campaign slogans are NO ONE BELIEVES them but everybody BELIEVES them.

Psychologists have a scientific term for people who “believe but don’t believe” at the same time and that term is

“FUCKED UP”!

It really falls into the category of subliminal messaging. You know it is too good to be really true BUT you WANT IT TO BE TRUE. And then when you find you’ve been “had again” you toss it off as “just a campaign slogan” and go on with your business UNTIL NEXT TIME.

That is just how fucked-up-humans tick and the PR firms that run political campaigns as well as dog food advertising know exactly how to manipulate you ….. AND YOU KNOW IT! So you see we are right back where we started with the psychologist’s scientific term!

Now that Tubularsock has established that YOU are the problem let Tubularsock take a look at the swamp. Contrary to the urban legend, Washington D. C.  was not built on a reclaimed swamp, but wetlands did cover areas along the Potomac River. And the Tiber Creek, a natural watercourse, ran through the National Mall until the 1870’s.

So Washington was built on “low ground” or “near swamp” level so the idea of “Draining The Swamp” has had to come from the experience of shaking the hand of the first Senator you have ever met. And exponentially continues from there. Logical, yes?

Well as a result of Trump’s victory, of sorts, he has already lost his way and has gotten right on the escalator to hell but being Trump believes he is going up.

But Tubularsock will give Trump his due ……. Trump has proceeded in putting together THE CABINET OF COMEDY. And this may be the BEST EVER Apprentice-esque Show to date!

“No, really. They are the greatest, they are fantastic, they are the biggest!”

And because of their lack of intelligence in pretty much any expertise he has picked them to do they’ll do what they do best, produce SWAMP GAS! But this will be “the greatest Swamp Gas! No Swamp Gas will be as great as THE CABINET OF COMEDY’S swamp gas!”

“None!”

Just you wait and see!

Rex Tillerson, Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos. THE SWAMP GAS-ETTES!

Rex Tillerson, Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos.
THE SWAMP GAS-ETTES!

 

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tube-heading-hipLET THE CLOWN CLONE, CLOWNS!

You may not have heard or you have heard but it didn’t ring of importance to you.

Fortunately Tubularsock is here to connect the dots!

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Yeah, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is going to close down in May of this year. The reasons they say are “declining attendance, high operating costs, changing public tastes, and prolonged battles with animal rights groups”.

But that is all bogus!

The REAL REASON is they can not compete with the REAL CIRCUS coming to town:
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And it just happens that Tubularsock took his trusty little brownie fully automatic reverse lens camera-camera to grab just the beginnings of the
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You will not see any of these photos from any other news outlet because in Tubularsock’s clandestine-photo-imaging-technique Tubularsock had to literally do tricks to capture these shots!

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“In the Trump” there are many tricks and one of Trump’s best acts is keeping Tweets in the air at the same time!

 

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But Trump can even out do himself in his FUN child-like antics with foreign policy proclamations!

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But when all is said and done there is NOTHING LIKE ………. THE THREE CLOWN FULL MONTY  ……….. for total amusement!

 

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No really, with the likes of Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon covering Trump’s back you can’t get any more BAT-SHIT than that!

 

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PRESIDENT TWEET!

Tubularsock has waited two days to be sure that ALL the votes had been counted. Tubularsock wants to make it crystal clear that Tubularsock IS NOT responsible for taking votes from Hillary in Tubularsock’s own drive for the Presidency.

It is true that if you add all the votes cast for Tubularsock and divide by three and subtract two you’d see just how close Tubularsock came to winning in the non-swing states and just how close the swing states swung toward a Tubularsock Presidential victory.

Alas, Trump rigged the election and Hillary rigged the election both to keep Tubularsock from becoming the President of the United States!

And as Tubularsock HAS ALWAYS SAID, and you can quote Tubularsock, “Two rigs don’t make a right!”

So now, where do we go from here ……. it is a tough question. But the positive FACT is that when you are at the bottom of the barrel, direct down is a short distance.

What has just happened is that we have just had a REVOLUTION!

Tubularsock is elated that the “establishment-power-brokers” FAILED. And Tubularsock has been SO WRONG that the EPB’s would be able to swing the election for Hillary.

And THAT is after Tubularsock was SO WRONG that the “Republican-power-brokers” would not allow Trump the Republican nomination.

And as Tubularsock HAS ALWAYS SAID, and you can quote Tubularsock, “SO WRONG can be so right if wrong was right. Which has to be explained that a right wrong can’t be wrong when it’s right just like a wrong right can’t be right.”

So now with all that cleared up Tubularsock can wait for the train to wreck when it reaches a full speed crash. Bang-Crash!

Tubularsock is so pleased that the Hillary Machine was defeated and that the Trump Mess is about to ………. just what the fuck will the Trump Mess do.

Well the unfortunate part. Donnie doesn’t have a clue on how to shift any of his changes he called for in the campaign into reality. Talking about making America great when it really never was all that great to begin with and then doing it …….. well that is where the rubber hits the road.

But this is so much better than continuing the same old Shurb-Obomber-Clit going down the same old tracks to the same old conclusions.

This is our very first Tweeter President! Can it get better than that?

And think about this …….. Trump KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS JOB
and you can’t change the channel because it’s the ONLY GAME SHOW IN TOWN!

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The day after the election *** 11/9 *** will go down in the annals of American history as the shocking day that Donnie The Tweeter President shockingly takes hold of the country. It may even be another 9/11 in the making but backwards.

However what if Donnie is the REAL progressive not like Obama who was a progressive in sheep’s clothing with all that false hope and change which proved to be same old same old.

Or Hillary who wasn’t a progressive at all.

What if ……………

But Tubularsock is happy ……. change is possible just in the fact that if the people want something to change they REALLY DO have the voting power.

But we’ll have a long tumultuous downward spiral before that will happen. Hold on to your hat.

So come on America. Join hands:

LET’S MAKE AMERICA FAKE AGAIN!

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