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Tubularsock was out of his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. for several days due to an intense family emergency. It was worse than having to eat dinner with the Cheney’s. It was hell personified and Tubularsock doesn’t even believe in the hell concept but it is the best descriptive for a quick picture.

Happily all’s good now and I’m back in the bunker viewing the collective mess that we live in and feel good that nothing has changed for the better which is rather comforting.

You know, the shit you live in in the collective culture is shit we’re familiar with and just like any abusive relationship it’s still home. Yes, we’re sick mother-fuckers!

So while Tubularsock was focused elsewhere he missed:

 The State of the Union Address..

 

 The flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

 

 Some football game with a lot of custom ads.

 

 Brig. Gen. Hossein Salami, a top commander of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards boasting that Iran “ . . . have targets within America.” But so does Tubularsock! 

 

The Justin Bieber’s DUI. 

 

And the State Department’s release of the XL Keystone Pipeline environmental report written by the oil industry for the occasion.

Wow. Turn your back for just a minute and the shit just keeps hitting the fan!

So where does Tubularsock start?

Where-else Justin ………….

MSNBC was in the middle of an interview with Congresswoman Jane Harman about the NSA  spying scandal when they interrupted that interview to bring forth a BREAKING NEWS story.

And what was that BREAKING NEWS?

The judge was reading the charges against Justin Bieber at THAT MOMENT!

Really, need Tubularsock say more about this crap?

Sure.

There was also a big discussion about Justin having zits that showed up on his mug-shots. It appears that the cops don’t air-brush out blemishes. What a travesty.

How is Tubularsock going to handle that a 19 year old boy who drives a yellow Lamborghini has zits?

lambergene yellow

And not to overplay this cathartic bull-shit but the White House had to pay attention to the incident because of enough people had signed an on-line petition demanding that Justin be DEPORTED back to Canada for being a “bad influence on American youth”. Like a border make’s a difference.

It seems that the White House has a page that citizens can present grievances and if the numbers are great enough then the White House will take some type of action.

Well, bottom line …….. a DUI just doesn’t rank high enough in the pantheon of crimes to warrant deportation. Zits, however …….. you may have a case!

Then the State of The Union Address. 

Gag Tubularsock with a spoon. The bull shit was stacked so high that even Joe Biden couldn’t add to it with his inept personal deficiencies.

I don’t know about you but Tubularsock just has trouble listening to abstract when I’m stepping over the homeless on the streets whenever I go out. Now granted, riding a bicycle puts me more in tune with the direct environment than say riding around in your SUV with the music on and the tinted windows but even you have to get out to buy your food.

At times Tubularsock thinks he’s in India as he criss-crosses a human sea of men and women with card-board signs asking for help.

And to have Obummer say that women aren’t getting paid as much as men for the same work ………. well no shit Dick Tracy.

“Let’s make this a year of action,” Obummer says. Sure. What has changed from last year?

see no

Well according to Bummer’s intro, A teacher has helped her student, AN entrepreneur does her part to create 8 million jobs, An auto worker fine tuned some of the most fuel efficient cars in the world to do his part to help America to WEAN ITSELF OFF FOREIGN OIL. And on and on until we come to the military families who tuck their children in bed and remember fallen comrades BUT NOT REMEMBER ALL THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN THEY WASTED AS THEY MURDERED THEIR WAY THROUGH IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.

And all the while the camera flashes over the dumb shit that can’t clap but beats his chest with his hand instead because he’s the poster-boy of the deformed and maimed “military-hero” who still doesn’t get it. Nor does his stupid bloated father standing next to him. He may be even more of a fucking dumb shit than his son!

When will they wake up? What a price to pay to be cannon fodder. You get the President to point out what a hero you are for getting yourself blown to shit and then forgotten when the lights go out and the cameras are put away.

A State of the Union Circus would not be complete without a freak show so they propped up Cory Remsberg the current military excuse of a hero and the Congress that sent him and so many to die and become crippled all applauded and thereby absolved their collective guilt.

What a sad commentary on the nation.

And it is that propagandistic bull-shit that is continually pushed and as long as everyone focuses on the sacrificial, emotional horse shit ol’ Cory will be rolled around as an example and Cory says he still wants to serve his country.

Well, Cory ……… you are still severing the ends of the war profiteers. The fact that you and your father are both fucking brain dead helps push the war agenda. Congratulations.

But without a chance to rest your mind let Tubularsock deal with the flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

Kanye for some reason is not the brightest crayon in the box. Recently he has punched a couple of guys for comments they have made to him. One was in a chiropractor’s office of all places.

It seems guys say shit to Kanye, then he punches them, then they sue him, and then they collect an out of court settlement of $125,000.00.

Sound like a plan? Tubularsock is working on his retirement program. Where does Kanye hang out?

UBE kim and Kayne

Well the hip-hop artist allegedly confronted Vogue’s chief editor Anna Wintour at the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge, and got right up in her face over the issue of Kim not being placed on the current cover of Vogue.

Because Anna is a personal friend he can’t see why she isn’t willing to do him this personal favor and put Kim on the cover.

In truth, Tubularsock can’t figure out why Anna won’t put Tubularsock on the cover of Vogue. It just seem like the right thing to do.

Tube-esque vogue

Now who would believe a guy named Salami? It sounds like baloney to Tubularsock. And all this Iran’s Revolutionary Guards shit. Remember how Saddam Insane’s Revolutionary Guards were this huge danger to our troops before our invasion of Iraq?

TARGET AMERICA!

The mass media played that wild card and pumped up everyone until when we invaded they weren’t even there. Another crack intelligence failure. OR a sly propaganda ploy by  American for Americans.

Pretty much all Tubularsock can recommend to assist Iran with suggested targets within the United States is to call 1-800-al-Qaeda and leave a message.

Ah, yes. That football game with the custom ads. The least said the better. I was hoping that Iran would have taken that out but alas Tubularsock can’t have every new years resolution come true.

And while no one was looking including the State Department the environmental impact report produced by the oil industries was rubbered stamped out by the State Department and in general the conclusion ……… what impact?

The fact that the XL pipeline crosses over 1700 bodies of fresh water, ahh ……. just what could go wrong. And the argument goes like this ……… it would be more dangerous to transport this shit oil by train so leaky pipelines that will be thoroughly inspected maybe once (if they can spare the time) will be way safer.

Well the unions want it because they’ll get almost 2000 new jobs for ten minutes and then years of catastrophic leak repair which the pipeline owners will have only limited liability before the federal and state governments put up the bucks.

EVERY oil leak in the current pipeline coming out of Canada that has leaked has caused irreparable damage to the environmental balance of the areas involved that can not be corrected for a hundred years. Now who has that kind of time?

And yet you’ll see Obummer sign off on this XL pipeline ……… why? Oh come now. Haven’t you noticed yet?

Barack Obama is the first black president in white-face and as long as the-slave-boy keeps up the “good-nigger” role the white power structure will let him play golf with them.

white obama baloon

Yes’em massa!

Come on everyone …………. let’s sing the blues.

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

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Comments
  1. Jeff Nguyen says:

    Good to have you back, Tubular. Hope that your family emergency has receded. Peace to you, man.

    Like

  2. Looks to me like this has the makings of a daytime soap opera. The plot still needs a little work, though.

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Thank you SB. Yes ……. the plot will thicken! Tubularsock is not scared!

      Like

      • Tubularsock – Glad you’re back with us, and hope you can stay for a while. . But … you’re not scared? I am.

        I mean, I thought I was keeping up, more or less. I never watch speeches or sports (had my fill of pep rallies in seventh grade), but got the gist of the State of the Union, and even know who won the big game thingie. Certainly I heard about the preposterous pipeline study. Looks like we’ll need bodies to block bulldozers yet … and I don’t expect that to help much. And yet I totally missed the whole Vogue cover thing, and Justin’s zits too. I could lose my street cred. with such howling lapses. Maybe I need to get a Twitter account? But no, I can’t deal with the stupidity of the name … much less the content.

        And I’m just now realizing that I have never used “bull shit” as a tag for a post, not even once. Now that’s embarrassing. May be I’m losing all grasp of the obvious? Apparently, I need your blog, so I don’t miss something really essential. Thanks for this vital if disheartening update. – Linda

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Welcome Linda. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Tubularsock appreciates your concern over the “bull-shit” tag. It may be the only tag this blog needs if the truth be known. Feel free to use it yourself. Unlike Monsanto Tubularsock hasn’t copyrighted the term.

        And I’m so with you when it comes to “Twitter”. The name alone gives it away.

        Tubularsock attempts to provide a complete distorted picture of the distorted world in the distorted time frame that we live in. And the many nuances as they appear to the naked brain are enhanced by the sheer magnitude of that distortion. Please keep reading so Tubularsock can move the furniture in your brain around so you’ll see the world as few know it.

        Often the knowledge about Justin’s zits and the Cover of Vogue tells one more about the state of the union than the State of the Union.

        Like

  3. H3nry J3kyll says:

    ROFLMAO! Outstanding Tube.

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Thank you H3nry J3kyll. Tubularsock is happy that you enjoyed yourself. I appreciate you taking the time to read Tubularsock. I love reading (and watching) your work which always opens my neural pathways of existence.

      Like

  4. MisBehaved Woman says:

    Glad you are back and all is well again with the family.

    As for the state of the world and all of the excitement therein…even with a reinforced layer of tumbleweeds across the entrance to my cave, the noise of it crept in and gave me the heebie-jeebies…or maybe that sound was really Bieber’s zits singing..? 😉

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      MisBW ……. thank you so much for your comment. Tubularsock tried tumbleweeds he purchased at Jackalope in Santa Fe to cover over his bunker door but like your experience I found that Justin’s “Never Say Never” seeped through anyway. I never realized that it may be his zits causing issue.

      Like

  5. Dearing says:

    Lookin’ good in that robe dude-don’t nod off with that torch lit….

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Hey thanks Dearing. Pretty stylish I admit. Not to worry about the torch. There is this protective concrete facade so Tubularsock will be fine. But the torch is handy for lighting up a fatty ……..

      Like

  6. Tube! I am glad that ALL is well and that YOU are back!!

    But, but…say it ain’t so! My Biebs has got ZITS???!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I’m so like, his biggest fan! I mean gosh and like oh my, this is a travesty. I mean, like, ewwwww! I am totally, like traumatized! And what is, um, a “stale of the unit?” Oh, you’re just like, totally not with it! Well, I’m like gonna have a pajama party and is that kewll or what? I mean, we’ve like, gotta find us a new celeb since the Biebs is so like, yesterday with, GASP! Zits! Ewwww!!

    LOL!!

    But seriously Tube, I think you covered it all! No one can do it quite like you! ‘Salami and baloney’ HAHAHA!! I love it!! And this is hilarious!

    “top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA.”

    I love it! Funny, funny guy!!!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Shelby, thank you. Tubularsock is happy to be back in the game. In truth, I have just been through one of the scariest times in my life. And I feel extremely fortunate to have come through to the other side. It was a close family scare but all is good now. But life is improv and each forward step is into the unknown. Of course, that’s what makes it fun!

      But being back in my bunker feels really good and as we both confront “Salami and Baloney” in our separate ways Tubularsock admires your commitment and your work. Thank you for that.

      Like

      • Oh Tube, all kidding aside! I am so sorry that you had such an enormous scare! And I do sincerely hope that ALL is indeed, well! I truly did miss you and wondered about you. Because I thought, it’s not like Tube to just wander off. I mean, he’s not senile or demented or anything. And I was worried, believe it or not. Even though we just type words and we’ve never spoken or communicated other than like this. For as long as we have been doing this bit, it has given me a sense of you. Of course not like the people who meet you on an everyday personal level, but know that Tubularsock gets plenty of thoughts from me. I did miss you, you rascal. And again, I am SO very glad that things went right and I hope they stay that way.

        And as for maligning you on my blog, I am sorry if something I wrote upset you. I can be a real mess at times. Let me know what it was and I’ll get rid of it.

        You take care of yourself and please know that people whom you’ve never met still have the ability and humanity to always wish you and your family, well!

        Hugs!
        Shelby

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Hey Shelby. Thank you for your kind words and thankfully things have shifted in a solid and wonderful direction. And you are one of Tubularsock’s favorite bloggers and a great and powerful poet.

        You are correct that Tubularsock is not senile but you may want to review the demented part. And don’t you worry about “maligning” Tubularsock and I didn’t become “upset” over it. Tubularsock found it very well done and funny. Don’t ever change that! Poor Linda finds herself in the middle of our fun and crazy stories and games. But she adds her funny direction as well so I guess it is alright.

        I’ve never doubted your humanity and your heart, Shelby …….. that is what you are all about, my friend.

        Like

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