Tube heading garbage2014

 

 

From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

NY Toast Cover

From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

Tube pres office money

That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

Tube Obama family issues

However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

Tube obama plane door

Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

Tube wave plane

Tube in cockpit

Stolen

Obama left

Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

DairyQueed gang

(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. The resemblance between you and the Secretary of the Inferior is uncanny. Is he related?

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Dr.B. Thank you for your comment. Yes, Tubularsock has noticed this anomaly himself. However, there are so many explanations that comes to Tubularsock’s mindless mind.

      Rather than go through all those possibilities Tubularsock will wait to see if he who looks like me may be what me would be if me was he. Which of course me isn’t!

      Like

  2. Tubularsock, you have an extraordinary talent to be sure. Thanks for this bit of wit and humor to start the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh shit. This could be the last straw for our poor country. Financial meltdowns, killing austerity, predatory plutocracy, endless wars, our crumbling infrastructure and industrial base, the Kardashians — all these have gravely weakened us, no question. But we’re tough people, we’d probably muddle through all that. A scandal of this magnitude though, with who knows what sordid revelations yet to come … I just don’t know if we can survive such a knockout blow. But thanks for giving us fair warning with this excellent prescient post. – Linda

    P.S. Maybe you could share blueprints and instructions for building bunkers like yours? Looks like a good time for that sort of thing. – LLF

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Tubularsock would be happy to share blueprints for a Top Floor Corner Office In The Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. with you Linda.

      Tubularsock feels that we each should have one.

      Of course these blueprints being provided will not give exact details for the Tubularsock Bunker for security reasons but will give you all the information you’ll need to create your own personal bunker.

      The easiest way to proceed is to contact Bunker Madness, Inc. a subsidiary of the Tubularsock Empire Of Greater America, Ltd. they will provide you with the necessary documents. Good luck and “Tube-Speed”!

      Oh, and don’t fret over the last straw ………

      Liked by 1 person

  4. heila2013 says:

    Not sure I understood every point and turn but I sure had to laugh out loud. Love your wit and irony dear Tubularstock, AND your photomontages!!! Heila

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Thanks, Heila. A laugh out loud is always a good sign. Tubularsock doesn’t understand Tubularsock half the time as well ……… Thanks for your comment. Now re-read it backwards. That is where the code is hidden. Tubularsock is always one step ahead of Mossad!

      Like

      • What I’m waiting for is more trolls to visit this site. Tubularsock’s comments in response to trolls are always the high point of my day. In fact, he really needs to give lessons on responding to trolls. I don’t seem to get many trolls on my blog for some reason. Perhaps if I I looked harder I could round some up.

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        That, Dr.B is Trollandish! That being said, Tubularsock would be more than happy to send a troll or two your way. There are always plenty to go around. It makes Tubularsock sad that you are troll-deprived yet Tubularsock is happy that he can make your day with his troll responses. You may want to consider Tubularsock’s new product Trollandea. Tube’s new product will do what no other troll landing product has ever done! Don’t settle for second best. Need more trolls? TROLLANDEA! Only $19.99! This product is approved by the Pro-Troll-Society of greater Memphis,Tennessee.

        Like

      • heila2013 says:

        Don’t bet on that…. 😉

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Thanks for your warning, heila.

        Like

  5. wolfess says:

    I am utterly convinced; convinced, I tell you, that the obadrone had Air Fuck 1 ‘disappeared’ so that the Secretary of the obviously Superior [to said obadrone] couldn’t get even better acquainted with the First Lady Obadrone! I fear for the Secretary — we all know how the obadrone deals with those who give him a burr up his butt … remember Benghasi!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      wolfess, thank you for taking the time to present your theory. And an important one indeed! Tubularsock was shocked to the core. If you are correct that means that the “secret”
      government is able to “disappear” government officials as well as citizen at will!

      Tubularsock does remember obummer’s “joke” about droning that musical group if they had any interest in his daughters so for Michelle he may easily pop the Secretary Of The Inferior off in a Cheney-heart-beat.

      Tubularsock was hoping that that Dairy Queen sighting was proven to be real but your clearness in belief has made Tubularsock doubt that sighting for a far more sinister outcome.

      Tubularsock sure hopes you are wrong ……… time will tell. Thanks again.

      Like

      • wolfess says:

        Goddess how I love reading your articles and comments! 🙂
        I also hope I am wrong, but there have been a few too many ‘disappearances during the obadrones’ reign for me to feel at all comfortable not suspecting the worst.

        Pwr 2 the DISAPPEARED peons!
        GUILLOTINE THE REIGNING CLUSTERFUCK!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        wolfess, thank you so much. There may be an alarm-of-concern for the safety and return of the Secretary Of The Inferior but you have to take into consideration that he still is a politician after-all. And as a politician he most likely has something up his sleeve besides his “leftist” arm.

        Tubularsock has undertaken a close review of the photographic evidence of the last moments before “Air Fuck1” was stolen.

        One: The Secretary waves to all the Secret Service Personnel from the ramp as he entered the plane. That is established FACT!

        Two: The weather was foggy and wet. That is established FACT!

        Three: The last photograph we have before the reported “stolen” plane is one where the Secretary is seen in the COCKPIT! That is established FACT!

        Four: “Air Fuck1” is sitting on a runway in clear weather. That is established FACT!

        Five: Obummer arrives, as usual, too late to implement a plan. That is established FACT!

        Six: The runway where Obummer is standing is in a light fog. That is established FACT!

        What does all this mean? Well Tubularsock does not want to conjecture at this time but he has forwarded all his documented evidence to the FBI Investigation Labs.

        When all else fails …….. have faith in Eliot Ness. Can you trust anyone more than an “Untouchable”?

        “Pwr 2 the DISAPPEARED peons!”

        Like

      • wolfess says:

        I love it! And you are 200% right in the established FACTS, therefore, I will defer to you dear Tubularsock and your obviously advanced intellect when it comes to the unvarnished truth about the Secretary of the [obviously] Superior. I look forward to your continuing updates! 🙂

        On a serious note: my father worked for the Department of the Interior — he was Superintendent of Chaco Canyon National Monument, and Fort Laramie National Historic Site. He would roll over in his grave if he knew what has happened to the now Department of the InFerior. 😦

        Like

  6. tubularsock says:

    wolfess, it is interesting that your dad lived in a time that the dominate view was there was some value in preserving what will never be created again.

    Yes, sadly he would be extremely upset for sure. My dad would as well. Thanks for your comment.

    Like

  7. Lara/Trace says:

    I’m laughing – and that is just what I needed!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s