Archive for the ‘ISIS’ Category

Tube Heading Bombs

Tubularsock has JUST figured it out!

And now let Tubularsock say it before others …… “thank you Tubularsock!”

Well, Tubularsock has many hats, sort of speak, and then with cleaning the bunker and all, well it took some time to figure it out ……….

Anyway ………

Even after you figure it out it’s not without confusion.

Now there is al Qaeda, and al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, and al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb and ISIL, Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (Islamic State) or ISIS, Islamic State in Iraq and Syria or DAIISH (or DIISH or DAISH) the group’s name in Arabic al dawla al islamiyye f’il iraq w’al sham …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

The last three are the same group which is confusing in the first place.

And then the Al-Nusra Front, and Al-Shabaab, and 63 others on the United States terrorists list.

But the new kid on the block is the Khorasan group. Oh yea!

And they don’t even appear on the terrorist list!

The Pentagon said that they were “seasoned al Qaeda veterans”!

AND these battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters travelled from Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere to Syria allegedly to plot several attacks on American interests.

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Muhsin al-FadhliAnd GET SCARED because the leader of this band of merry men is Muhsin al-Fadhli, a designated terrorist and apparent 9/11 insider who received advance notification that terrorists would strike the United States on September 11, 2001, along with George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, the CIA, the FBI, the Mossad, the SVR (the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service), the Saudi Intelligence Agency and some Israeli “students” who were taking pictures and jumping for joy as it was happening.

But Muhsin al-Fadhli is no longer with us because our bomb attack wiped him out! Or that is what the “social-media” has been reporting.

But Susan Rice, the  U.S. National Security Advisor stated, “We can’t confirm that at this stage. We’ve seen reports on social media to that effect. We will continue to look for signs as to whether or not that’s, in fact, the case.”

So you can see that EXTREME EVIL may be impervious to death no matter if the bombing mission cost us $500 million dollars!

Now don’t you worry. Remember in our last escapade when we would kill the worst of the worst al Qaeda leader only to discovery that a new leader would appear and we’d kill him and then the next ……

Well, trust Tubularsock on this, there are plenty to go around!

And as for the “FACT” that these seasoned battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters that make up the Khorasan group are sitting all together to be bomb is got to be amazing when we were lead to believe by Dick Cheney that the “worst of the worst” of al Qaeda were locked up in Guantanamo.

Wow, just who can one believe?

Anyway ……. there is plenty of fear to go around.

You see Muhsin al-Fadhli is/was being trained by the SCARIEST OF SCARIEST bomb maker that the world has ever known, Ibrahim al-Asiri !!!!!!

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Ibrahim al-Asiri was the “chief” bomb maker of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula.

He was responsible for making the bomb that was used in the “2009 Christmas Day bomb plot” in which the Nigerian passenger, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, attempted to set off plastic explosives sewn to his underwear.

The result was Abdulmutallab burnt his dick but the bomb failed!

And then Ibrahim al-Asiri also made the bombs for the “2010 cargo plane bomb plot” in which plastic explosives and a detonating mechanism, were found on separate cargo planes. The plastic explosives were hidden in a printer cartridges in each plane.

These bombs were never detonated but were discovered as a result of intelligence received from Saudi Arabia’s security network.

So this is all the work of the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER attacking the United States. Three bombs no explosions.

Scared yet?

Well Ibrahim al-Asiri did have one, kind-of successful, bomb that he made detonate.

And that is the one where he took the plastic explosives and shoved them up the “rectum” of his 23 year old brother, Abdullah al-Asiri. Abdullah then detonated himself in an attempt to assassinate Muhammad bin Nayef, the Saudi deputy minister of Interior but he detonated his plastic-explosive-rectum-device by cell phone too early and Nayef was only slightly injured.

Needless to say Abdullah did not fair as well. Could it be that he dialed the wrong number?xplow copy

So what we have here is a hint that the al-Asiri family aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. One brother can’t make a workable bomb except the one he put up his younger brother’s rectum.

And the younger brother who has his head up his ass even to agree to having plastic explosives shoved in his butt!

Yet, Ibrahim is the guy that is helping the now blown up Khorasan group to make bombs.

What is wrong with this picture?

And to make matters worse if you remember the “Christmas Bomber” was escorted onto that passenger fight without being run through security and without a passport! Say What!

So this is the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER that has frightened the United States to bomb the Khorasan group?

But that isn’t the only bombing that has occurred due to Ibrahim and his bomb making attempts. Last year a CIA drone strike took out Ahmed Said Saad, a Syrian medical doctor who had been working with Ibrahim on his experiments.

You see, the rectum-bomb worked, it actually blew-up! So Ibrahim teamed up with Ahmed Said Saad (a medical doctor) before the CIA droned him and according to U.S. officials succeeded in developing a bomb that can be surgically implanted inside the human body. The military refers to such a weapon as a “surgically implanted improvised explosive device,” or SIIED. …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

So the plan is that radicalized Westerners who have Western passports will be implanted with these implanted bombs and blow themselves up within the United States.

And to think that Ibrahim al-Asiri, dropped out of his chemistry class in college which just goes to show you that “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”.

Anyway this is what Tubularsock has figured out. The solution to these deadly human weapons. And how to detonate them BEFORE they cause damage to others.

Well we could take the old fashion approach and just stop bombing people so as not to make MORE terrorists but sane approaches are not respected due to the simple fact that by doing that huge profits would have to be forfeited …… need Tubularsock say more?

An approach needs to be expensive, wasteful, and secret because that is the only way the public will believe they are safe.

Now Tubularsock is used to being ridiculed and persecuted for his futuristic ideas but that has never stopped him before. Mockery and derision is always directed at those on the cutting edge.

And huge profit? …….. Tubularsock can get behind that but only because saving the nation is the only patriotic priority.

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Now if you would care to invest in Tubularsock’s new venture just send a check, cash, bit coin, a goat, a pick-up truck, a bushel of non-GMO corn to:

New Technology Mega Data Implementation, Ltd.

333 Underground Bunker

Secret City, CA 66633-5484

Now here is the expensive, wasteful, and secret plan. WARNING, it is in code.

Now Tubularsock has estimated that there are “X” number of terrorists.

The NSA has EVERYBODY’S cell phone number.

The number of terrorists with cell phones are “XY”

The number of non-terrorist with cell phones are “Z”

Are you still following this? Don’t you have something better to do with your time?

X – XY= WYZ

Z – WXZ= HZYU The exact number of terrorists using cell phones.

Or something like that ………

So NTMDI, Ltd. will call every “HZYU” every six minutes ( the seventh minute we rest).

So if a terrorist is in the process of carrying a SIIED he’d explode ……

And NTMDI, Ltd would charge $3.00 per call to the government or NTMDI, Ltd +  HZYU = a fucking great deal of $$$$$$$$. ………. Aren’t acronyms fun?   

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What do you think? Brilliant or what?

Ok, bottom line …… the U.S. Government will fall for this and if Tubularsock can get enough Congressmen/women to fall for this WE (my investors) will be catapulted into the 1%!

Hell, we’ll even be able to use the United States Senate’s Gym to do push-ups!

Save the accolades for later ……. cash is preferred!

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JOKE ON YOU

 

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Now Tubularsock was separating bull shit from reality with his new invention known as the BULLSHIT REMOVAL EXTRACTOR. Yes, Tubularsock knows that “removal” and “extractor” are redundant but you’ll have to admit so is BULLSHIT!

Anyway, there is not a whole lot to do in Tubularsock’s top floor corner office in his underground bunker in Oakland, CA overlooking Washington, D.C. so Tubularsock has to keep busy exposing the BULLSHIT REDUNDANCY . Hey, it’s like a quest!

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ISIS seems to be ALL that is happening in the entire world if you pay attention to the maimed-street-media.

Well guess what fellow travels ………..

Not much has changed ……. it is all focus.

NSA are still spying on you …… nothing has changed. Congress spoke about being upset and going to do something BUT they went on their “Summer Recess” and then ISIS appeared and they voted to support bombing them and then called for a “surprise” break and they won’t return until the FIRST WEEK IN DECEMBER! Oh yeah, just in time for their Christmas Recess. No, really Congress is going to be in session for a good four days this year …… really? Tubularsock’s sure of it, if you count what they have accomplished!

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Hello …….. planet earth can you read me?

Oh, and MH-17 is still being investigated by the “international-community” (aka the united states being omni-present) and the first emphasis was that the investigation was NOT going to cast “blame” but they are going to investigate the “facts”.

Bottom line is that the Puppet-Ukrainian-Government supported by the United States shot down the Malaysian passenger plane and the Russians and the Russian Ukrainian Supporters were not responsible. Those are the facts that are coming out of the investigation but the maimed-streamed-media just doesn’t seem to notice.

And then there is ……. wait for it ……… the Kim Kardashian nude “hacked” photos!

You know in truth, Tubularsock doesn’t know who in the fuck Kim Kardashian really is but she seems to appear every time any odd international news crops up.

And seriously, have you ever seen Kim in her “regular-clothes?” It is all focus.

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How is “nudity” different?

And Tubularsock doesn’t want to pry, but when was the last time YOU took photos of yourself nude and posted them so they could be hacked?

Oh ……… the BULLSHIT REMOVAL EXTRACTOR is going off the charts so Tubularsock has to cool down the system …….. Like later!

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Ever wonder what a “moderate-extremist” could be?

Now Tubularsock, knows what ‘moderate” means.

And Tubularsock knows what “extremist” means.

And Tubularsock knows what “give me a break!” means.

Really?  A “moderate-extremist”.

Now, that has to be one fucked up person!

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” would be the one to cut off only three-quarters  of your head?

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” only massacres half of a village?

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” is ONLY a moderate so he can get more weapons and be able to sell them to the EXTREMISTS for a profit?

That is called (in economic terms) the Middle-Man.

You see Congress loves the free enterprise system. So they voted for the middle man and why not?  Congress plays to the middle for votes and then returns to the self-serving people they are. NO party excepted!

Now Tubularsock is not expecting any change in this “moderate-extremist” bull-shit but it is being brought to your attention as one of the many pearls of unexamined bull shit that is just sitting everywhere until you don’t even realize that it saturates your consciousness.

It’ is like “the jobless recovery” and “humanitarian-bombing” ………. sure ….

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we are all one CIA

 

 

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NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS: SECRETARY OF THE INFERIOR ASKS . . .

The Tubularsock News Team has just reported that our “insider” has just provided an actual photo and translation of a recent incident within the White House.

This document has been examined by Tubularsock and has been deemed authentic.

Sec Inferior boots

You have heard it first from TUBULARSOCK’S NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS ……… THIS IS LIVE COVERAGE BUT A LITTLE LATER ……. 

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LEADER FROM BEHING

 

 

 

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LOSING YOUR HEAD OVER ISIS!

As usual, Tubularsock sits in awe of stupidity.  Obomber’s speech sounded like Bush’s speech, sounded like Johnson’s speech, sounded like Nixon’s speech.

There is always that underpinning whether mentioned or not that we have to stop the Vietcong, al Qaida, ISIS over there or they will be on our shores in a minute.

Even though YOU can’t get on a plane without a crotch search.

Tubularsock ain’t scared!

And oh how BARBARIC they all are, down right uncivilized!

Did you know that ISIS cuts people’s heads off?

And oh my god, they WATER-BOARD their prisoners!

Can it get any worse than that?

Well yes, they TORTURE their prisoners and if that isn’t enough

they make their prisoners wear orange jump suits!

And unlike “OUR” CIA they didn’t destroy their videos of doing all these things, THEY POST THEM ON YOUTUBE!

Talk about transparency! 

My god, what is this world coming to?

Somehow in all this is always our rush to bomb …… well, bomb somebody.

And bombing has worked so well that it will just be as effective again!

And again, and again, and again ……… see how effective it is?

Let’s see, ahh …….. women and children first is what Tubularsock likes to say.

Ok. And the old people! They can’t get out of the way anyway.

Yep, lets shock and awe them.

And what gets Tubularsock the most is that WE (meaning the United States) helped create ISIS. WE (meaning the United States) funded them and trained them to help fight Syria. And remember WE (meaning the United States) also funded and trained bin Laden’s al Qaida back in the day to help fight the Soviet Union in Afghanistan.

Somehow that never gets mentioned in the speeches and the maimed stream media.

The other crap that seemed to be missed is in August, Saudi Arabia executed 15 people by chopping off their heads. You remember Saudi Arabia …… they are one of our allies.

And the “moderate” elements of the rebel groups in Syria which WE (meaning the United States) have been and are going to continue to arm, fund, and train cut off 8 heads of captured ISIS rebels in the past few days.

Now you tell Tubularsock ……… does it look like beheading really means all that much to the President or Congress to you?

Now the realization that bombing people usually turns them INTO terrorists still hasn’t penetrated Obomber’s head. Bush didn’t get that either and the Vietcong grew under Johnson’s and Nixon’s bombing.

So why is it that bombing is the first line of defense?

Hmmm. Just maybe we need terrorists.

It appears to Tubularsock that it is the ONLY job program Obummer and Congress have come up with that works!

There doesn’t appear to be any unemployment in ISIS. And you have to admit ISIS even sounds like a government program?

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Problem solved

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Now here is something that you won’t believe. Tubularsock has discovered an operative TIME MACHINE. Hey really, it is up and running and YOU haven’t even noticed!

It’s amazing at several levels. First, it’s right in front of you. Second, you don’t have to climb into it. Third, it is operating as Tubularsock writes this information to you.

Fasten your seat belt, expect tubebulence!

It appears to Tubularsock that this new 21st century TIME MACHINE was plugged in a long time ago maybe all the way back to Babbling-Alzheimer-Ridden Reagan but no matter, it is manifesting NOW so that is where we are in TIME MACHINE present moment time!

The United States has become a combination of (perhaps due to cross wiring within the TIME MACHINE)  the end of the Roman Empire combined with the ultimate Fascist State. ( jump back, fucking Hitler!)

The government and the corporation are one and the same, hence: Fascism!

Now, Tubularsock knew there’d be doubters.

Fucking look at the facts …………. everything the United States Government does is TO PROTECT NATIONAL INTERESTS.

Now the American public THINKS that THAT is them but it is not! PROTECT NATIONAL INTERESTS is capitalistic profit and control speak for their profit and their control! That is the reality, period!

The United States Empire Direction is crumbling and this was foretold by putting a BLACK Man in the WHITE House. See the color contrasting problem?

The White Power Structure needed a scapegoat so what better scapegoat than a Black Man. Especially a Black Man who only looks FORWARD! (He’d fucking freak out if that fucker looked back!)

And just like the Roman Empire we have troops and mercenaries throughout the world destabilizing areas so to conquer them as servant-states. (in the old days they were called colonies but we’re past that, we’re modern!)

ALSO our economy and monetary policies are crumbling because we have sunk to a belief that denial is the operative solution.

It is all falling apart as it did for the Romans. Wow, time flies …………

At the same time as the Roman Empire is crumbling (476 C.E.) and the Fascist State is solidifying (1930’s AD) we have a Caliphate forming before our very eyes. We are talking about the 600 BC here!

Wow! This TIME MACHINE is awesome!

No really, tell Tubularsock ……… how often have you seen the fall of the Roman Empire, the rise of the Fascist State and the formation of a Caliphate ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

Which only goes to prove that TIME IS AN ILLUSION.

But this is the 21st Century for Christ sake! Top this:

Add to all of this THE COLD WAR!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, THE COLD WAR too!

You get the fall of the Roman Empire …..

You get the rise of the Fascist State …..

You get the formation of a Caliphate …..

AND THE COLD WAR TOO!

ALL FOR ONE LOW PRICE!

A box set just in time for the holiday season!

And if you act now Tubularsock will toss in ***** AT NO EXTRA CHARGE*****

Joe Biden’s new hit single: “FOLLOW YOU TO THE GATES OF HELL”

gates of hell tube biden

SO ACT NOW  ******* ONLY $19.95

CALL NOW 1 800 BUY-TUBE

********************************************

Ok, Tubularsock got a little carried away here. Shows you what happens when the dream of short term profit overcomes long term thinking.

In such a short time period the U.S. came from “saving the world” from the clutches of evil Fascism and destroying Communism to being the ultimate Fascist-Police-State and attempting to bomb-drone-and-torture the world into lockstep-order TO PROTECT OUR NATIONAL INTERESTS.

Well it’s not working. Self interest will win the day and it may be a surprise but other countries in the world have their own self interests too.

It will be fun to see Germany, Russia, and China form an economic bloc. The old day fascists and commies finding their home grown roots against the present day U.S. fascist-police state.

What will the TIME MACHINE  show us next? Just maybe Tubularsock will have figured out the dials and buttons in the TIME MACHINE  by then. Ahh, what adventures await.

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FUCK REPORT HEASING

 

Well “good morning America how are ya?”(City of New Orleans by Steve Goodman)

Tubularsock has been hangin’ in the bunker in awe and amazement once again over how the shit that is spewed from the United States Government’s propaganda machine works so well. Even though it is straight-up lies and then those lies are smeared with bat shit. People in this country eat it right up. And EVEN the Europeans are at the table.

Well it only goes to show that vested interests dine at the same trough.

The entire propaganda ploy is really simple: Create and control the narrative FIRST.

That means that once you implement your fiendish plan you control the emotional thought patterns of the people.

You then continue to repeat the false narrative often regardless of what REAL truth comes out.

It is all a ploy but it works. And it has been used repetitively.

Need examples?

Simple!

9/11 …………… On the day the three buildings at the World Trade Center collapsed into they own footprint and in truck-able sized steel pieces the controlled narrative was being propagated.

And that narrative. Osama bin Laden did it!

Tubularsock hadn’t even finished his first cup of coffee before he was told that Osama bin Laden did it and that was repeated every minute of every day for years.

And why did Osama bin Laden do it?

He didn’t like our freedom.

Now remember that information was put out there so fast that the smoke hadn’t even cleared New York yet.

Not only that but ALL the news outlets knew EVERYTHING about Osama bin Laden even the address of the cave he was planning all this from in Afghanistan!

Now who was feeding the news media this information? Oh, come on …… just guess.

Remember ………… No one could have possibly THOUGHT that someone would fly planes into buildings said Condo-Rice and Little-bush-shit. So then how could they ALL know who did it and where he was and why he did it AND put it out to the media so rapidly?

And to this day if you would like to clear a space for yourself on a city bus or have room to drink alone at a cocktail party or to find alone time in a full cafe all you have to do is start to question the 9/11 narrative. The bull shit produced by the U.S. government has worked THAT well!

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AND TO SEAL THE DEAL: To this day the majority of Americans still believe that Saddam Insane had something to do with the attack on 9/11!

EVEN after both Little-bush-shit and torture-cheney have come out and said that they had never said what they said about Saddam’s involvement. EVEN when you can see them say it on video and also see them say they didn’t say what they said on video.

Bottom line: The one out first with the narrative, even though it’s a lie, is the narrative that sticks in the minds of the masses! PERIOD!

Assad used chemical weapons on his own people ……………

That narrative was pushed by the American Government in the media and Assad was condemned and assailed as a heartless murderer.

Well, he didn’t do that!

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It was discovered by international investigation that it was the U.S. supported terrorists that used chemical weapons on people. NOT the Assad Government.

It was because of that information that Obama had to drop the bombing of Syria idea.

But Obummer knew that ALL THE TIME.

Yet, just this week Tubularsock was reading a current article that referenced Assad’s use of chemical weapons ……….. remember the FIRST narrative sticks!

Which bring us to what Tubularsock  wanted to talk about …………  The flight of MH17 and it’s demise over Ukraine.

Now to many Tubularsock readers you already know this because you keep up with the BSN (bull-shit-narrative). For you, you can use your extra time by not reading further and polishing your Molotov cocktails. Or for many of you polishing off any kind of cocktails for that matter!

Now that the room is cleared …………..

Propaganda is much like a horse race. You want your horse out of the gate FIRST because that is the narrative that will be remembered.

ROVE:PLATO

And what came out first? Russia was responsible, PERIOD!

No proof, no investigation, no nothing EXCEPT ……… Russia was responsible, PERIOD!

That is the first hint that the narrative is false and of course …….. it is!

And then the corollary narrative ……… the Pro-Russian rebels were responsible which is equally false.

A simple trick Tubularsock always uses when these incidents occur is logic.

Why would Russia blow up an international flight of civilians over another country? What would be their advantage in doing that?

To what advantage would the Pro-Russian rebels have in blowing up an international flight of civilians?

To win friends and influence people? Come now!

So it is obvious that there is NO advantage for either of them to do this …….. nada!

So that leaves the American-puppet government of Ukraine.

And from the facts so far on the ground it appears that MH17 was shot down by the American-puppet government of Ukraine’s air-force. Not by a ground missile.

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And the reason Tubularsock feels this information may be the correct answer is also based on logic.

And the logic goes like this ……….

The Russians have released satellite imagery showing that MH17 was in the same airspace with two Ukraine jet fighters just before the “incident”. There also were no sign of ground missile activity. But the Russian imagery is not as technologically as clear as the imagery that the spy satellite that the United States had flying over the same area would be IF THE U.S. RELEASED THAT IMAGERY.

Which means that OBUMMER KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED and rest assured that if it “proved” that Russia was really responsible it would have been out of the gate weeks ago.

That for Tubularsock PROVES that the American narrative is a pack of shit!

Also recall that a few days after MH17 going down the U.S. released satellite imagery showing Russian missiles being fired across their border into Ukraine to help the Pro-Russian rebels. And ranting about that “unlawful” activity.

Which only shows Tubularsock that the satellite imagery the U.S. has of the downing of MH17 does not support the American narrative!

CASE CLOSED.

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