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Oh gosh and golly-gee. Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in his under ground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C from Oakland, CA musing over a couple of articles from the Huffington Post.

Tubularsock can’t really say many good things about the Huffington Post but on a day like today Tubularsock will read anything.

And these articles jumped out and landed on the desk so Tubularsock thought he’d put them into a verbal collage to see just what would happen.

The first article was about how “people” are not happy with Nicki Minaj’s new video.

Wow! Now there’s some “news”!

So Tubularsock put on his Cultural-Investigative-Reporter-Hat and went to work.

Admittedly Tubularsock is a bit out of the loop because Tubularsock didn’t know who Nicki Minaj happened to be. Now how in the fuck did Tubularsock miss this?

Nicki Minaj

Well come to find out Nicki is a rather famous singer. Or Tubularsock thinks that what she does. Her videos are ……… well ah ……. she’s listed under music on YouTube anyway. Or maybe Tubularsock should say she isn’t Guy Lombardo.

Tubularsock likes rap as a form and the beat is hot but the lyrics get a little boring unless they are actually saying something.

Nicki’s lyrics do have a nice rhyme to them but the subject matter is well here’s an example:

“This dude named Michael

used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower,

I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s

Real country-ass nigga,

let me play with his rifle

Pussy put his ass to sleep,

now he calling me NyQuil . . .”

Tubularsock can’t wait for NyQuil to pick up Nicki for an advertising contract. Hey! Like it could happen at the Super-Bowl!

Or maybe this “song” Anaconda could end up like one of those wedding song the bride and groom sing to each other after the ceremony. You know they may have to change some names around but the wedding consultant deals with that! Like it could happen!

That was her old video. Her new video is the “song” Only.

And I’ll bet you can not guess what people are “UNHAPPY” about in this new video.

Yep. You guessed it ……………. The Video included Nazi Imagery!

NAZI THEME

Oh Yeah! Wow, can’t have that now can we ……… I guess it clashes with the lyrics like,

“Yo  I never fucked Wayne never fucked Drake

On my life man fuck sake

If I did I’d Minaj with wid’ him and let ‘em eat my ass

like a cupcake

My man full he just ate. . .”

The social media went off the deep end about the Nazi shit but seemed to miss the lyrics as objectionable. But if Nicki’s life man doesn’t give a shit Tubularsock isn’t going to get work up over it! It did make Tubularsock sit back and wonder about “our” cultural priorities. But on the other-hand Drake rhymes well with sake and cupcake so all’s good.

Tubularsock figures people noticed how close our country is coming into it’s Nazi phase and have become alarmed. Yeah, right! But on the other-hand Nazi phase rhymes with USA so all’s good.

Now Tubularsock realizes that to transition into the second subject will seem like “A Tube Leap Forward” but trust Tubularsock here and we’ll end up in China.

And yes, as difficult as it may appear …….. there is a connection, or at least in Tubularsock’s mind. (scary isn’t it)

You know that Obummer and Putin are party’en down in China at the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation forum. And hey, they spoke to each other for a good twenty minutes. You know there isn’t a lot to say about economic cooperation when Obummer is pushing economic sanctions against Putin.

HEY GUYS, THAT'S TUBULARSOCK'S iPAD.

HEY GUYS, THAT’S TUBULARSOCK’S iPAD.

But that is the boring part!

No the part of all of this China stuff that Tubularsock wants to bring to your attention is Putin hit’en on Peng Liyuan, China’s First Lady.

(L TO R) Putin, Tubularsock, Xi Jinping, Peng Liyuan.

(L TO R) Putin, Tubularsock, Xi Jinping, Peng Liyuan.

According to the Washington Times Putin presented Peng Liyuan a bouquet of flowers at a public event! There’s that Putin right out there with the hustle, right?

BUT LATER at the opening dinner for the APEC forum Putin was sitting next to Peng Liyuan and he got up and draped his coat over her shoulders because she was cold.

Or as the Washington Times put it:

With zero hesitation, Putin stood up, grasped his tan coat with both hands and draped it over the Chinese first lady’s delicate shoulders.

It was move that oozed smooth, though skirting dangerously close to flirtatious. (Cue jokes about Russian  aggressions.)

Peng, faced with the awkward prospect of sitting through dinner beside her husband with another man’s coat around her shoulders, handled it quickly.

After five seconds — long enough perhaps to show appreciation for the chivalry, short enough not to call attention to the awkwardness of it all — she stood up, discreetly handed Putin’s coat to an attendant and slipped on another jacket.

Now what struck Tubularsock about all this is that there was a time in our cultural history that a man who gave flowers to a woman or took it upon himself to drape a coat over the shoulders of a friend that was cold was considered to be chivalrous.

So you see how the times have changed and it may be considered “old-fashioned” but it does not mean that Putin was “hit’en” on her!

No hit’en on her in our modern culture today would require that Putin say loving words in her ear like,

This dude named Vlad used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower,

I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s

Oh, and Tubularsock suspects he’d have to do that in Chinese:

这家伙名叫弗拉德用来骑摩托车

迪克 · 比塔

我不在谈论埃菲尔的

(Bing translation)

Oh well, Tubularsock is just going to have to get with it and get modern

…….. damn, where are those cupcakes?

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A TUBE THOUGHT: TWO?

Posted: November 9, 2014 in Obama
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A TUBE THOUGHT: LAME DUCK QUACKERY!

Posted: November 4, 2014 in Lame Duck
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TUBE THOUGHT LAME DUCK

 

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EBOLA MAGIC!

Posted: November 4, 2014 in Ebola
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Tubularsock was tip-toeing through the tulips this morning or was it the poppies?

Some kind of a flower anyway.

And it came to mind that just maybe somebody should put this Ebola Deal in perspective for those who have stepped into the deep end of stupid.

It appears that common sense is lost somewhere between Fox News and Charles Darwin.

So here is a simple run down for those who can’t read.

TUBULARSOCK’S PICTURE BOOK OF THE EBOLA SCARE

or just how stupid are you America?

Ebola scare

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Ebola page 2

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TUBE VOTING TIME

 

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Ebola is the new black

Posted: November 1, 2014 in ReBlog
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Jeff Nguyen’s work is always on point, the guy is brilliant and an excellent, insightful writer. Tubularsock is proud to introduce you to his work. Dwell on this ………..

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Japan: Comic Relief

Well if you haven’t heard, Japan or perhaps just the government or at least some of the Japanese people or many of them or over half of them or at least the number that will allow this to happen but “THEY” are going to re-start the Sendai Nuclear Plant even after their knowledge about the risks as exampled with the continuing Fukushima disaster that is like the gift that keeps on spewing!

The Sendai Plant will be the first nuclear plant to reopen since 2011.

Ok. That’s not the funny part. Now Tubularsock does admit that he at times has a bizarre sense of the absurd but this is got to take a cake. Or at least a muffin.

The local officials have voted to reopen the Sendai Nuclear Plant EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONLY 40 THAT IS 4 ….. 0 MILES FROM THIS:

tube fuck volcano

Mt. Ontake erupted just a month ago …….. just so you are clear Sendai Nuclear Plant is only 40 miles from this active spewing volcano!

Care for funnier?  The Sendai Nuclear Plant is also only 31 miles from Mount Sakurajima, an extremely active volcano which erupts on a regular basis.

Now what could possibly go wrong with this scenario?

Now there is active anti-nuclear opposition but the government wants to restart Japan’s nuclear industry because ………….. TAPCO owns the government. So the people don’t really get a say UNLESS they shut down the country.

Oh don’t count on that ……… some people have even moved back to the Fukushima area because the government said it was safe to do so.

It is so safe that Tubularsock is going to open THE FIRST EVER tanning spa where your tan comes from the “inside” out in just a matter of days. What could be better?

No tanning beds …….. you just sit on the spa’s deck and tan away. EVEN AT NIGHT!

THE TUBULARSOCK EVER-GLOW TANNING SPA and sake bar.

With pre-cooked sushi from the sea.

Reservations available, reasonable rates for the unreasonable.

contact: phone 1-800-burn-baby-burn (no collect calls accepted)

Now don’t think some silly people are not attempting to warn the officials.

Like the scientific authorities.

Oh did Tubularsock mention the INCREASE in seismic activity in the area?

Oh well. As the Japan Times stated:  “Sendai reactors [are] vulnerable to eruptions [and] could cause a nationwide disaster, said Toshitsugu Fujii, University of Tokyo professor emeritus who heads a government-commissioned panel…”

But not to worry ……… The Government regulators RULED OUT a major eruption!

The Government regulators RULED OUT a major eruption! Tubularsock just had to repeat that. So perfect, The Government regulators RULED OUT a major eruption! Now come on …….. that’s funny!

What a relief  ………

まあええと、Tubularsock は… 常に言うように私のために戻る。こんにちは友人  ( Translation: Well hey, as Tubularsock always says …….. back to my sake.)

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EBOLAWEEN: TRICK OR TRICK

Well, well, well ………. if you wait long enough in the same place the things one can learn.

Tubularsock was, once again, busy cleaning his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA and pondering Ebola. The name itself in kind of scary and with Halloween approaching Tubularsock started to look more closely at a possibility of producing Ebola candy for the children.

Would Ebola candy be any worse or more scary than apples with razor blades embedded in them which Tubularsock gave out last year or candy laced with LSD or PCP or a list of other dangerous ingredients that over the years the CIA have experimented with on people in their rush to out spy the spies?

American spy-craft may even have had its early beginnings in a type of political-warlock-craft. And now especial with a Black President there is “black” magician possibilities bubbling up in the cauldron of malcontent.

Far-fetched you say? Well in truth the truth is way more scary than anything Tubularsock could come up with as you will see.

Way back in 1925 there was the Geneva Protocol and it was designed to have the countries of the world agree to “prohibited use but not possession or development of chemical and biological weapons”.

Now, Tubularsock asks you to figure out the wording of this Protocol. A country could POSSESS chemical and biological weapons, and a country could DEVELOP chemical and biological weapons but they agreed NOT TO USE THEM!

Give Tubularsock a break ……… were people back in 1925 that stupid?

Well jump to 1972. The British concocted the Biological Weapons Convention (BWC) and opened it up for countries of the world to sign on. The BWC wasn’t to go into effect until 1975 and twenty-two governments (the U.S. being one) signed on to this agreement.

The BWC updated the Geneva Protocol so as to prohibit the development, production, and stockpiling of  biological and toxin weapons.    

Now this all sounds well and good EXCEPT the absence of any formal verification regime to monitor compliance has limited the effectiveness of the Convention.

Well no shit Dick Tracy, you bet it limited the effectiveness!

Were people back in 1975 really that stupid?

And here is a fun fact for you, The United States of course signed on to the Convention but in order to continue to possess and develop chemical and biological weapons it has built laboratories specifically for that purpose in Liberia who has not ratified the Convention. No hypocrisy there.

The U.S. also has built labs in Guinea and Sierra Leone to circumvent the Convention.

Of course when the U.S. is pressed on this issue they always say it is all done for “defensive biological warfare research”!

And to tie this into a Halloween bow for you ……… these biological warfare research laboratories were built by USAID and you know that USAID is really only a front governmental organization for the CIA.

And surprise, surprise the CIA is also involved in bio-warfare work as well.

See, Ebola candy isn’t that far off!

EBOLA CANDY

Now here is where it gets real scary ………… Enter Professor Francis Boyle and his book

Biowarfare and Terrorism.

Boyle’s take on this entire Ebola mess is that the epidemic was created by one or more of the United States Bio-Labs in West Africa. He says that he has no direct evidence that it was deliberate but he thinks it was caused by error and the Ebola virus got out of the labs and into the population.

And if you look into lab accidents throughout the world you will see that Boyle’s conclusion isn’t far fetched by any means. Accidents at research facilities have caused germs to escape, killing people and animals near the facilities all over the world for years.

Oh and before Tubularsock forgets, you all remember the anthrax scare right after 9/11. That anthrax came from a military bio- weapons-lab and after blaming the wrong guy the FBI finally supposedly figured who the perpetrator was but by golly he ended up dead due to a supposed overdose. 

Funny how that all worked out so well ……. Lawsuits filed by the widow of the first anthrax victim Bob Stevens were settled by the government for $2.5 million with no admission of liability. According to a statement in the settlement agreement, the settlement was reached solely for the purpose of “avoiding the expenses and risks of further litigations”.

Another open and shit case though it took a few years. Another “lone wolf” …….. nice work by the FBI. Don’t you think?

Scared yet? Well Tubularsock ran across this little note worthy bit of information in the Daily Observer, Monrovia, Liberia.

Dr. Cyril Broderick, A Liberian scientist and a former professor of Plant Pathology at the University of Liberia’s College of Agriculture and Forestry says:

“The US Department of Defense (DoD) is funding Ebola trials on humans, trials which started just weeks before the Ebola outbreak in Guinea and Sierra Leone. The reports continue and state that the DoD gave a contract worth $140million dollars to Tekmira, a Canadian pharmaceutical company, to conduct Ebola research. This research work involved injecting and infusing healthy humans with the deadly Ebola virus. Hence, the DoD is listed as a collaborator in a “First in Human” Ebola clinical trial (NCT02041715), which started in January 2014 shortly before an Ebola epidemic was declared in West Africa in March.”

So here we go again. And these types of medical experiments conducted with “volunteers” by the CIA and U.S. military appear throughout America’s illustrative history. Tubularsock isn’t going to go off in that direction but there is a library of information for your reading pleasure. Check it out. Oh, and sure “we” did it only to “protect” society.

Ever wonder where Hitler’s left over Nazi doctors ended up? Oh come on guess.

Well lucky for us Obama has come to our aid …….. saints be praised!

He called an Ebola Meeting and guess what. It didn’t have any doctors in attendance. It didn’t even have Ron Klain the Ebola czar. But it did have the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of Homeland Security, the National Security Advisor, the Deputy National Security Advisor, the Deputy Counsel to the President, the ……… well you see the direction this is going.

And the outcome? Send 4000 troops to West Africa.

Tubularsock feels really safe now.

WTF?

Now at this point Tubularsock usually says ………. and there’s more.

Well there is more. Tubularsock likes to be consistent except when he’s not.

You may not know but the United States is building a $102-million High-Tech Bubonic Plague Lab in Kazakhstan. You remember Kazakhstan. Right? This lab will be completed in September, 2015.

And who is building it? Well you know the Defense Threat Reduction Agency, right?

Well it’s part of the Pentagon and the lab will be built, and some of its early operation funded, by American taxpayers.

So see, YOU are investing in a future Bubonic Plague pandemic.

“Why, are you so sure about this, Tubularsock?” I’m sure you are asking.

Well …….. Tubularsock will put money on it because he’s THAT sure. And here’s why.

The citizens of Almaty, Kazakhstan are a bit concerned because the lab is being built just outside town, in the midst of a populated suburban neighborhood. AND the entire area is an active seismic zone.

Now the U.S. officials have countered the citizens concerns with …… the building is designed to meet the city’s highest seismic standards.

Tubularsock hopes that the U.S. officials have discussed these seismic standards with the Bubonic Plague. It may just speak a different language.

And mark it on your calendar  ……….. Tubularsock figures 2017 give or take and we’ll be all surprised in the press how this all happened.

Were people back in 2013 really that stupid?

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