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Now Tubularsock knows that people are always sometimes interested in the makings of a political career. And it is a job that is a wonderful permanent temporary position for the individual who is looking for an expansive contracting position in life which is openly closed to any creatively mundane purpose.

By popular demand Tubularsock was asked to help the hoi polloi understand how they too could become President of the United States of America some day.

And the best way to expose explain the process is by providing DIRECT EXPERIENCE of the intricacies of the political process by using Tubularsock’s OWN, on going, campaign as a boilerplate of the political process.

Therefore, when you are ready to be enlightened, enter NOW into the catacombs of the political process. And as you proceed do be careful of the loose and decaying bones of Ghosts of Campaigns Past. Tippecanoe and Tubularsock Too! Go ahead, sing along!

click here:

TUBULARSOCK POLITICAL TREATISE: ROAD TO THE PRESIDENCY 2016

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15 Years … Happy Birthday 9/11

 

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No really, 9/11 wasn’t an INSIDE JOB … it was an out-sourced job … The United States out-sources ALL it’s terrorist activities! It’s the American Way!

 

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You know, whatever one does there are always downsides to a job well done. And those downsides usually lead to a lack of confidence and a bit of depression. But don’t let it get you down! If you first don’t succeed, try, try again. And the upside if you are a terrorist is that when you do succeed you have reached the pinnacle of your job cycle. Congratulations. (cue the balloons)

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Tube smoke cafe HeadingTAKE IT ALL OFF?

Tubularsock was sitting around his Top-floor corner office in Tubularsock’s Underground Bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see BUNKER TOUR) pondering ….. What has made the French so stupid NOW?

No, Tubularsock isn’t going as far as “Freedom-Fries” like the brain dead Bush Administration Congress. French Fries are still tops on Tubularsock’s culinary menu. Well, EXCEPT for the ones served with the prix fixe McDonald’s menu on the Champ-Élysées ! Sometimes American Exceptionalism doesn’t translate!

Tubularsock has always loved his visits to France and found the French people delightful. Even years ago when so many felt that the French had a shitty attitude toward foreign tourists. Tubularsock, speaks no French except, “Ne touchez pas le chien, il mord !” ( Don’t touch the dog, he bites!)

And the only reason Tubularsock learned that phrase was, well Tubularsock’s Yorkie, Gizmo, would bite people if they tried to pet him …… and even with Tubularsock’s fluent-limited-French, four Frenchmen and two French women got themselves bitten by Gizmo.

The great thing was none of them blamed Gizmo or Tubularsock but apologized for not following the warning. And took full responsibility for their action. Unlike Americans who would have blamed the dog’s owner and attempted to sue.

So Tubularsock has been taken surprised by this French reaction to, of all things, the Burkini! What’s with that?

Manuel Valls, the French Prime Minister has stated that the New York Times has painted an “unacceptable” picture of France with a recent article about discrimination against Muslim women.

France previously banned the headscarf from all state schools in 2004 and former President Nicolas Sarkozy banned the niqab – or a full faced veil – from all public places in 2011.

And now, the Burkini!

The reason, “. . . the swimwear still poses a risk to public order.”

So, armed French police officers are shown in photos forcing women to remove their burkinis on beaches. And the humor of all that is not missed on Tubularsock because topless sunbathing on beaches is allowed just not clothed sunbathing! SO FRENCH!

Now all of these rules, according to Prime Minister Valls, have been created so that women don’t have to “. . . live under the yoke of a chauvinist order. The female body is neither pure nor impure; it is the female body. It does not need to be hidden to protect against some kind of temptation.”
But it’s the French government’s chauvinist order that is well, ahh, chauvinist as well!

And of course, it is all in the eye of the beholder. The 1905 French constitution guarantees the freedom of religion and freedom to exercise it. However the original text MADE NO REFERENCE TO CLOTHING.

And if Tubularsock recalls, neither does the U.S. Constitution.

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Tubularsock wonders if the wearing a kippah (skullcap) is outlawed in public in France. Does anyone know? Should be, Tubularsock assumes, because of the “. . . posed risk to public order”.

Traditionally, Jewish men and boys wear the kippah at all times, a symbol of their awareness of, and submission to, a “higher” entity.

Another chauvinist position handed down from on high!

But in truth, this is all too funny to Tubularsock. Somehow having women more nude rather than less just seems to be at the heart of the matter chauvinist but maybe it’s just Tubularsock.

Tubularsock has always hated “dress codes”! Public Order be damned!

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tube bomb headingTUBULARSOCK’S BIG BANG THEORY

 

Ever the optimist, Tubularsock was just thinking of the future of the United States’ leadership and insanity.  It is rather nice to have both of these concepts wrapped up in one package. And then we can tie it in a bow of annihilation and the package is complete. Just think, Christmas early. Excited yet?

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Yube lheanding learnonTMONEY, MONEY EVERYWHERE

 

As many of you know, Tubularsock loves everyone and Tubularsock gets along with everyone. Tubularsock is a businessman and by being a businessman Tubularsock gets along with everyone! Even Mexican waiters!  AND SO DOES DONALD TRUMP or so he keeps repeating. And no one practices that old adage, “if you throw enough shit on the wall ….. some of it will stick”, better than Donald Trump!

And so when Tubularsock received an urgent email from Eric Trump letting Tubularsock know that his father would match ANY donation Tubularsock made toward his father’s campaign Tubularsock was so excited! And hey ….. no pressure but it has to be made by tomorrow by 11:59 PM so as to hit their goal before the FEC deadline. And to help this along Don HIMSELF is “. . . putting his money where his mouth is by writing a $1 MILLION MATCHING CHECK toward [their] $10 million end-of-month goal”.

And if that wasn’t enough Eric reminded Tubularsock that “I [Eric] run my foundation based upon the principles that my father taught me: honesty, integrity, values.” And what better set of values could there be for a father to pass on to his son? It just shows you that HONESTY PAYS.

So being an honest businessman Tubularsock gave Don a minus $10,000.00. That way Tubularsock figures that matching a minus = $10,000.00 paid to Tubularsock in matching funds. So now, Tubularsock receives the $10,000.00 which brings the minus $10,000.00, Tubularsock gave to Don,  back to ZERO and we are all equal.

So to collect Tubularsock went right to where that $10,000.00 should be able to be remove from Tubularsock’s account!

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Wish Tubularsock luck!

And sure, Tubularsock will teach YOU the “NEW MATH”. Just send big stacks of unmarked Franklin’s in a brown paper bag to:

TUBULARSOCK NEW MATH PROGRAM
1300 GREENBACK LANE
NEW YORK, NEW YORK $$33$

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Tube smoke cafe HeadingTRUMP-A-SCARE

It’s not that Tubularsock expects a great realization from the brain-dead Democraps. Many are still convincing themselves that Bozo-With-Black-Face has done so well and could have done even better if the Republicants hadn’t blocked him at every turn.

Just how much better could bailing out Wall Street, Handing Health Care over to Corporate Profit and Droning all those brown men, women and children have gone?

Bozo-With-Black-Face bent over ever time the White Corporate Elite called for trade treaties that gutted the middle class and wasted the poor. And then even went as far as reprimanding the Black youth in 2008 with his famous “brothers should pull up their pants”! Talking about the Black calling the kettle Black ……….

But now we are about to step into a “new” Democrap for President. Just how many turds constitutes a flotilla?

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It really is depressing for Tubularsock to even think how stupid the population of the U.S. really happens to be and all generated by FEAR, of course.

“Oh my, I don’t like Hillary BUT WE CAN’T LET TRUMP WIN!”, is the rallying cry.

REALLY?

Is this what it’s all about? And did this all become this way just by chance?

The creepier and crazier Trump becomes the higher the FEAR LEVEL. Tubularsock would suggest that Homeland Security should re-instate those Threat-Level-Warnings.

You remember, “The Homeland Security Advisory System that morphed into The National Terrorism Advisory System in 2011 while the press always called it THE TERROR ALERT LEVEL.

Well come to find out a new system has been created and Tubularsock discovered this updated HILLARYLAND SECURITY system version. This system was leaked with the DNC email hack and Tubularsock is bringing it to the light of day. The Democraps use the system to control their message when necessary and to scare the American public when necessary. Say ……….. like November?

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Now remember, this is a COLORED CODED system so as to shift to RACIST MODE when necessary. The reason should be obvious and shows just how handy the updated system could be for this orchestrated current crisis.

 

Remember America ……… if you’re not scared THEY can’t control you. So you stay scared. That is why Trump was invented!

 

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CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM

……… and why it’s not working

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WILD RUMOR OR FACT?

It has been reported that Wendi Deng Murdoch and Ivanka Trump went “sight seeing” in Dubrovnik, Croatia with an unidentified male that many have reported bore the likeness of the leading U.S. Presidential candidate, Tubularsock.

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These early reports are based upon an Instagram photo and from this reporter’s review of that photo, the likeness of the subject does resemble the debonaire U.S. Presidential candidate, Tubularsock. However there is a question about the identification of these two women as Wendi Deng Murdoch and Ivanka Trump. They just look suspicious.

This is a late breaking critical news story so as new information is released we’ll keep you updated.

A call made to Tubularsock’s Campaign Headquarters was not returned before we ran wildly with this story so it would be hot off the press if there are any presses to run anything off of anymore.

There is a suspicion that the Tubularsock Campaign Committee later photo-shopped this photo in order to remove the candidate. At this time this is pure speculation! We have asked several renowned photo experts about this possibility. They have said that it is highly suspect.

“The give-away, “states Dr. John Knowless of MIT, is the suspicious beady-looking-eyes of the two subjects. Really? Would you trust them?”

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Now, you may not know that People Magazine has indicated that Wendi and Ivanka have had a long time friendship and Murdoch had even set up the introduction between Trump and her now-husband Jared Kushner.

It is a known fact with substantial documentation that Tubularsock had absolutely no known contact with Ivanka or Jared but it has been rumored in the National Enquirer that Tubularsock had been “palling around” with Wendi right after Rupert Murdoch, 85, filed for divorce from Deng, 47, after 14 years of marriage in June 2013.

It was reported that Rupert grew suspicious of Wendi’s relationship with former British Prime Minister Tony Blair. And Tubularsock sandwiched himself into Wendi’s revolving door activities just before her rumored “girlfriend” status with Valdimir Putin.

When asked about this alleged “sandwiched-palling” Tubularsock offhandedly responded, “No comment” and then boarded his awaiting Lear-Jet to Havana for a quick Cuban-Style Picadillo lunch.

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MAC-TRUMP!

 

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