THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG: a bin Laden story.
Now everyone knows when it comes to fowl stories Tubularsock is on top of his game. Some even go as far as to say that Tubularsock is for the birds. Whatever!
Tubularsock just loves a good story and as luck would have it it is, THE SAME OLD STORY.
So let’s start at the beginning.
Mohammed bin Laden and his tenth wife Hamida al-Attas fucked and had little Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden.(an interesting fun fact is that Bin Laden’s name was as long as his 6’ 4” body when he became an adult. Could that have been some kind of sign?)
Osama’s dad had 58 children from 22 wives but as Sharia Law requires he only had four wives at a time. Damn rules!
Now like any good Moslem dad Mohammed divorced Hamida soon after Osama was born. ( Which may or may not tell us something about what Bin Laden was like as a baby.)
And Bin Laden’s mother then married a man named Muhammad al-Attas, who worked at the bin Laden company. (Sure, Tubularsock wonders just how many of the 22 wives ended up with bin Laden company employees. Just one big happy family. Just imagine the Christmas party, oops.)
Ok. Let’s fast forward ……… is this fun or what?
There is enough agreement that Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born. In fact Tubularsock has not seen any documentation to date to question that this did not occur.
The problem? How did, when did, and who did die and was it bin Laden at all. There’s the rub!
So what is clear is bin Laden was born from there on, a story but “facts” ….. NOT SO MUCH!
It has been reported that Osama was 6’4” or maybe 6’6” tall. Or maybe less. It occurred to Tubularsock that math and measurement was an early achievement of the Arab World but no one even thought about getting out a measuring rod?
Remember The Navy Seals AFTER THE SUPPOSED KILLING of Bin in his bedroom laid down beside his crumpled bloody body to judge how tall he was ….. wow, those Navy Seals are kinky fuckers and none-too bright.
With all the equipment that they carry no one thought a measuring tape could be handy? Very poor planning if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)
And after the unarmed old man in his bathrobe is blown apart by massive gun fire THEN they start to wonder if it was Bin or not? (side note to self: don’t hang out with Navy Seal bat-shit-nut cases)
In terms of personality, bin Laden was described as a soft-spoken, mild mannered, left handed man who used a cane.
Because Bin never exhibited any Fred Astaire moves it was assumed the cane was for health reasons. His bodyguard CONTENDED Soviet chemical weapons were to blame for his malady but reporters SPECULATED that kidney disease was the cause.
The CIA BELIEVED that bin Laden had Marfan syndrome or kidney disease.(Wright, Lawrence. The Looming Towern. New York: Vintage, 2006.)
The CIA THOUGHT that the possibility of kidney disease was credible. They concluded that bin Laden did not need dialysis, but does suffer from kidney stones.(Robert Windrem. “CIA is looking for a few good doctors.” NBC News, Dec. 29, 2004.)
On July 1, 2002, Time Magazine reported “. . . that physicians who analyzed photos of bin Laden determined that he PROBABLY suffers from secondary osteoporosis, which is often related to diabetes and kidney trouble”. (“Bin Laden Alive as of Late December”, Reuters; Sun Jun 30, 2002.)
Are you getting the picture? CONTENDED, SPECULATED, BELIEVED, THOUGHT, PROBABLY these are descriptive words for we don’t know shit about bin Laden’s true health condition.
Now David Ray Griffin, who Tubularsock has very high regard for concluded that Osama bin Laden died in late 2001 or 2002. But when you look closely at Griffin’s claims his evidence is based on rather weak information, if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)
David Ray Griffin states the following five things from his article “Osama Bin Laden: Dead or Alive?” to show that Bin Laden is dead:
“1. The CIA up until mid-December 13, 2001, had regularly been intercepting messages between bin Laden and his people. At that time, however, the messages suddenly stopped, and the CIA has never again intercepted a message. (maybe he figured out he was being listened to?)
2. On December 26, 2001, a leading Pakistani newspaper published a story reporting that bin Laden had died in mid-December. ( oh! a leading Pakistani newspaper, then it must be true)
3. Osama bin Laden had kidney disease. He had been treated for it in the American Hospital in Dubai in July 2001, at which time he REPORTEDLY ordered two dialysis machines to take home. (see below)
4. In July of 2002, CNN reported that bin Laden’s bodyguards had been captured in February of that year, adding: “Sources believe that if the bodyguards were captured away from bin Laden, it is likely the most-wanted man in the world is dead.” (maybe they were on break)
5. The United States has since 2001 offered a $25 million reward for any information leading to the capture or killing of bin Laden. But this reward offer has produced no such information.” (until now)
But when you look at all five of these examples and follow them out they are all based on conjecture NOT HARD FACTS. Even Number 3, the Dubai hospital information can be called into question if you look at it.
The one reported “fact” that bin Laden was in the American Hospital in Dubai in July 2001 and according to CBS News “. . . was being given kidney dialysis treatment in a hospital in Pakistan . . . the night before the 9/11 attacks” was first reported by the French newspaper Le Figaro.
The story was drawn from a leak from French intelligence (according to The Guardian) and not only provided bin Laden’s hospital visit but also the story that the CIA Bureau Chief “. . . was seen in the lift, on his way to see Bin Laden, and later, it is alleged, boasted to friends about his contact. He was recalled to Washington soon afterwards”.
The hospital “emphatically” denied that bin Laden was admitted to the hospital and the CIA denied that their bureau chief visited. Oh gosh, just who can one believe?
And then there is the kidney dialysis treatment itself.
CNN reporting on Pakistan’s president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, speculation that bin Laden had likely died of kidney failure was then supported by CNN’s medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta who proceeded to evaluate A VIDEO with some earlier photos of bin Laden and concluded “. . . that he appeared to be in the last stages of kidney failure”.
From this Tubularsock would not go on record that bin Laden died in 2001 or in 2014 either. But what is clear is that whatever story the United States Government comes up with will be and is A LIE. That is the only FACT Tubularsock can draw from all of this bullshit.
Oh, but there’s more ……. wouldn’t you know.
According to Salon, in the article, The Many Deaths of Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2011 Justin Elliott writes:
“The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death began almost immediately after Sept. 11, 2001, and persisted at a rate of at least once or twice a year, every year. The reports — generated by (usually anonymous) statements by American officials and a dizzying array of foreign sources — often generated international headlines.
Here’s a sampling:
July, 2002 FBI counterterrorism chief Dale Watson tells a law enforcement conference of bin Laden: “I personally think he is probably not with us anymore, but I have no evidence to support that.”
August,2002 Popular conspiracy-mongering radio host Alex Jones announces, citing high-level Bush administration sources, “that bin Laden died of natural causes and that his family has given the body to the CIA.” Jones added, “they’re gonna roll him out right before the election, he’s on ice right now.”
May, 2003 French military analyst announces that bin Laden was killed in an American air raid in Tora Bora shortly after the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001.
February, 2004 Iranian Radio reports that bin Laden was captured in the Afghan-Pakistan border area “a long time ago” — but the official announcement was delayed because “Bush is intending to use it for propaganda maneuvering in the presidential election.”
April, 2002 The Israeli press picks up an account from a radical Muslim London newspaper: “We now report that the al-Qaeda organization has announced the death of Osama Bin Laden.”
September, 2006 French intel document says that Saudis believe bin Laden had died of typhoid in Pakistan.
June, 2008 Citing two unnamed officials, Time magazine reports that a recent CIA study has concluded bin Laden has long-term kidney disease and “may only have months to live.”
April, 2009 Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari tells the media that his country’s intel services “obviously feel that [bin Laden] does not exist anymore”’
But even here Justin Elliott shows bias by starting off his report with “The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death . . .”
An interesting link that Tubularsock found in these travels to find bin Laden is:
http://www.newsmine.org/content.php?ol=9-11/binladen/death/fbi-%20says-bin-laden-probably-dead.txt
You will discover here that Osama bin Laden has spent more time dead than living. Which in itself is an amazing feat for this amazing man.
So all the attack toward Seymour Hersh and his article on the re-death of bin Laden on May 11, 2011 is just another bin Laden death. The only thing it lacks is the Dairy Queen sightings with Elvis.
But it could be the true death of bin Laden or it could just as easily NOT be his final death.
So it might be helpful for a quick “fill in the blanks” historically for you and this little video made by Tubularsock in 2007 may help you recall what all this Afghanistan business was all about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFn407MpZc
If you ask Tubularsock ……. I LIKE BIN LADEN AND ALWAYS DID. (BUT NOBODY ASK TUBULARSOCK)
Tubularsock 