Tubularsock

SPACED

Tubularsock wants to get right to the point today.

Do you know what is one of the major dangers today in space travel?

GARBAGE.

And you can start your day now with that knowledge or you can waste some more time following out Tubularsock’s train of thought. Your choice. It’s a free world …. kind of.

Now you may have noticed all the hype around this recent asteroid that is barreling down on earth and will hit North America on September 24 and destroy it. For one, Tubularsock can’t wait. KABOOM! Goodbye grandma.

Ok, Tubularsock’s grandma is already dead so fuck that imagery.

But we are all doomed.

Well NOT SO FAST. NASA has put out a statement that says Rumor-Not-So.

But it is some kind of prophecy and hey you kind-of-have-to believe a prophecy off the internet, right. Come on …… yeah of little faith.

But then there is that science thing and NASA says that no asteroid is going to hit the earth and they have an entire division of scientists that track those things.

Wow, decisions, decisions. Internet Prophecy vs. Science. What to believe.

And you know the government lies to us all the time. In fact it is their full time job. So, how do we know that NASA isn’t lying to us?

Well that is simple …… our government officials are still in North America. If you happen to notice as September 24 rolls around that they have left, PACK YOUR BAGS. Otherwise, all’s good.

Now greater “mankind” has always thought highly of themselves and Western Civilization has out stripped all others in ego driven mis-conceptions of “our” greatness.

So of course “our civilization” is not under threat from mere asteroids from space!

Which then leaves all of us at the mercy of SPACE JUNK or GARBAGE.

And there is the downfall of all earth bound Civilizations. Or at least from Tubularsock’s point of view. No really, we earthlings are rapidly trapping ourselves on earth. The garbage we are creating on earth and the garbage we are creating in space IS going to be the end of us all. Not some grandiose “fire from the sky” ……. nope. OUR OWN GARBAGE. And the Mayans thought they had problems!

Now just for the record, as of 2009 there were 19,000 pieces of debris larger than 2” that are tracked. And there are 300,000 pieces of debris larger than 1/2” orbiting the earth at the 1200 mile level.

The International Space Station orbits about 250 miles above the earth and the 2009 satellite collision with space junk happened about 500 miles above the earth.

So, Tubularsock figures you have already figured out WHO PUT THE SPACE JUNK THERE? We did!

There is dust from solid rocket motors, paint flakes and frozen coolant droplets. These particles cause erosive damage ….. like sandblasting. And even though they have attempted to shield satellites not all parts can be shielded, say solar panels and optical devices which are heavily affected.

Larger debris has to be avoided by maneuvering a spacecraft to avoid a collision. This is an ongoing task and one of the reasons for NASA’s tracking.

If a spacecraft is hit by large debris it causes more debris which becomes a larger problem.

Are you still with Tubularsock here? Just light another joint and space dudes and dudesses.

So the bottom line here is the Kessler syndrome. And your therapist thought you had problems!

Chance collisions are influenced by the number of objects in space.

And there is a critical density when new debris occur faster than natural forces can remove them and at that point a “runaway chain reaction” may occur (theorized by Kessler) rapidly increasing the amount of debris in orbit and the risk to operational satellites.

What, Tubularsock worry?

To date we have left 400,000 pounds of junk on the moon.

It appears that litter is earthlings middle name.

There are commemorative plaques (dogs too have to piss on everything if it makes you feel better) broken space probes and lunar rovers.

Even astronaut’s shit has been left behind from their behinds.

There are flags, and pins, crashed satellites, and fucking golf balls, space boots, empty food bags, cameras, tools, “defecation collection devices, urine collection assemblies”, and a silicon disk carrying statements from Presidents Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, and Eisenhower which to Tubularsock is the ultimate in shit collection!

But if all that isn’t bad enough San Francisco based Elysium Space announced last week that it will start to send cremated remains of your loved ones to the moon for $11,950.00.

As they stated: “Families now have the historic opportunity to commemorate their departed love ones every night through the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon.”

Tubularsock can see it now …… the ultimate business opportunity and Tubularsock will let YOU invest in the ground floor (send cash) and you too can be an investor in space by being a partner in Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK,Ltd.

Here’s how it works ……. say one discovers after they ship their deceased husband or wife off for the forever moon trip that during their entire loving marriage that they had been cheating on them. Sleeping around with every Tom, Dick, and Jane!

So every time they view “the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon” ……. well, heartbreak.

Solution: Contact Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. and let us ease the pain.

For just $28,000.00 we will end the heartbreak and remove them from the moon FOREVER!

And for an additional $23,000.00 Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. will subcontract to Tubularsock’s SEND THEM ON, Ltd. and we will ship them (postage paid) on to the SUN to burn to HELL!

So you can see that there is profit in garbage and even though garbage will bring down our Civilization why not profit on the decline? At the heart of Capitalism is DEATH.