Posts Tagged ‘MELANIA TRUMP’

IMPEACH-A-PLORABLE

 

Well Tubularsock hasn’t all day so lets wrap up the Impeachment proceeding and be done with it!

Ok, all those in the room that believe that President-Tweet attempted to extort the President of the Ukraine for Tweet’s own personal political advantage in the coming up 2020 election, say aye.

aye!

The evidence shows that President-Tweet in HIS OWN WORDS shows this to be true.

The FACT, that after the phone conversation the covey of criminals around President-Tweet rushed the tape of the conversation to a “top secret” safety server because of fear that his illegal extortion plot could be exposed.

And then there is Rudy’s argument in his Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal basically saying that, President-Tweet spent most all the conversation on Ukrainian corruption but ONLY “six lines” on extortion about Biden!

And one of the best Tweet responses to Rudy’s logic in Tubularsock’s opinion was expressed by Krister Johnson when he stated, “Out of a whole lifetime, John Wilkes Booth spent only six seconds assassinating Abraham Lincoln”!

Case Closed!

 

 

Now hold on ………….

There is another side! Proceed.

From the GOP’s point of view there is a strong case that President Tweet was abducted by alien beings from the subterranean deep state that permeates ever living and dead cell in existence and was forced against his will to strong arm the Ukraine President into compliance and turn away from corruption.

JUST READ THE TRANSCRIPT!

Doing a favor IS NOT quid pro quo !

It is a simple gesture of diplomatic respect which is done all the time.

“We all do it” ……. Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, Stefano Bontade, Fat Tony Gizzo and the entire crew of Trump appointed administration lackeys.

It’s just, you know, POLICY.

And then there are the unified “TALKING POINTS” of Fox News and the Trump family that the entire Impeachment Process in BORING.

And hell, Tubularsock agrees! Let’s bring back the exciting stuff that Don Jr. can masturbate to, you know, like Stormy “spanking” DADDY on his ass with a magazine with his face on the cover.
Oh, the good old days ……. yes, Tubularsock misses them too.

 

Case Closed!

 

In truth, Harvard Law Professor Laurence Tribe sums it all up for even the dumbest deplorable to understand and that is that Trump’s

“. . . whole purpose in holding that office is to enrich himself and enhance the power of his family and the wealth of his family . . .”

Now with that, IMPEACH THE SON OF A BITCH and get back to football!

 

 

ALIAS MELANIA: COATTEXTURAL

You see, Melania doesn’t have a Twitter Account because the White House Twitter Account is always filled up before she gets up in the morning with “tweets” that Donald has tweeted all night and morning.

So, poor, poor immigrant Slovenian alien Novo Mesto, who may have been a rapist or one of those “really bad hombres”, from Slovenian entered the U.S under an alias.

She entered the U.S. using the name, Melanija Knavs. Some may say that entering a country using an alias raises questions. Especially when it was discovered that she made her money by parading her body around.

Yes, there is a name for that ………..

In 2005 Melanija changed her name again to her second alias, Melania Trump.

But as Tubularsock often says, “A woman in her line of work changes her name often!”

And using a tactic often used by slimy, unfit, creepy Slovenian aliens she brought her no account parents to the U.S using “CHAIN MIGRATION” and they became American citizens living off the American culture!

Man-O-man, how Tubularsock can digress ……….

Back to alias Melania and coats.

Melania uses coats much like Donnie uses Twitter. As a means to communicate.

And this little known communication form for people like Tubularsock who are “in the know”, is called: COATTEXTUAL .

Which, if you are intelligent enough, needs no explanation.

Now you remember the coattextual message alias Melania displayed when she flew off from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland in June, 2018, right?

She was off to visit detained immigrant children who had been separated from their families by her husband’s administration and put in cages.

The coattextual message was “I REALLY DON’T CARE DO U?
Her press secretary at the time, Stephanie Grisham, stated: ““It’s a jacket, there was no hidden message.”

And hell, Grisham, was correct! THERE WAS NO HIDDEN MESSAGE! For sure!

Which Tubularsock took to mean that alias Melania and Donnie must keep Barron in a cage locked up in the White House. Seems reasonable.

Oh sure it was a designer jacket ……. is there any other kind?

Well now, alias Melania again made another coattextual message but this time it was WAY-WAY more impressive in terms of being a clandestine coattextual message or as we in the trade say, a CCM!

And 15 months later, Stephanie Grisham, is now Donnie’s press secretary, and her statement for this CCM was a dismissive, “ridiculous”. Which is a clear sign that it is true!

Tubularsock loves this one.

On the back of alias Melania’s 9/11 coat, many people said they thought the stitching around the vent resembled a skyscraper and the button flap looked like a plane crashing into it.

Oh sure it was a designer jacket ……. is there any other kind?

Well, you tell Tubularsock what it looks like to you.

And as they say …….. if the coat fits, wear it! Or is that shoes?
Well as long as it’s Coattextual.

 

 

 

THE PUERTO RICAN SHUFFLE!

Well you can’t beat Trump out Trumping Trump in his goal of being the dumbest retard that has entered into the White House of the United States of America. And Tubularsock isn’t interested in giving those that are dealing with retardation a bad name. And in today’s “correct speak” Tubularsock figures “mentally challenged” has replaced retardation as a more understanding and sensitive term.

EXCEPT NOT when Tubularsock can spot a fucking moronic-retard at thirty paces! And Donald Trump IS AT THE TOP of that definition.

Tubularsock was a bit concerned when the almost catastrophe in Las Vegas didn’t warrant a special golf trophy but after all, it wasn’t a Katrina.

It’s all in who gets killed. But Dumb-Fuck-Lump sent out HIS WARMEST CONDOLENCES to those in Las Vegas which only means a temperature of 30-below. But hey, it’s the best he can do! Explains why Melania won’t hold his hand doesn’t it.

And Congress is sending out their prayers to all of the dead and are getting ready to pass a law to RELAX LAWS ON SILENCERS! And that is because Stephen Paddock, the Las Vegas gunman might have gotten a hearing loss if he hadn’t got himself dead first!

No really, this new law Congress, is wanting to pass, “The Hearing Protection Act”, is to relax laws on silencers so as to protect gun uses from hearing loss. And if Paddock had had the advantage of silencers his success rate at killing would have reach Katrina standards and THAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A CATASTROPHE!

So don’t you worry about any of this! “Sadly, violence will always be part of our lives,” is Sen. Ted Cruz’s take on all this. So Tubularsock has sent Ted an invitation to a Texan Country Western Concert. Tubularsock asked him to wear red.

 

And “People are going to have to take steps in their own lives to take precautions to protect themselves,” the South Dakota Senator John Thune offered up as a solution. Tubularsock invited John and his family to the South Dakota state fair. You know all that wide open space.

 

Oh, and then you have Mitch McConnell from Kentucky who is the Senate Majority Leader with his pearls of wisdom: “I think it’s particularly inappropriate to politicize an event like this, it just happened in the last day-and-a-half. It’s entirely premature to be discussing legislative solutions, if any.” Yep, Tubularsock understands, Mitch, hell the bodies are still warm. Can’t think about machine gun hunting rifles and huge magazines until ahh ……..

So Mitch, agreed to go out hunting with Dick Cheney. Glad that’s settled!

 

And finally, to get real American Main Stream, what is with this hat Melania was wearing when she got off the plane in Puerto Rico?

NO, one has to wonder just how low this country can go. You know like the limbo from Trinidad except in the United States it’s known as the lobotomy and it has worked on the population well enough to elect Orange-Tweet and his plastic family!

 

 

 

 

 

SCARAMUCCI THE DOUCHE, FLUSHED!

The humor train is still racing down the tracks in Tweet’s White House. Removing Anthony Scaramucci, the ultimate douche-bag, because of his erratic speech patterns such as using “cock blocking” as a government tactic was so shocking EVEN to the pussy grabbing Commander of Sleaze!

“The president certainly felt that Anthony’s comments were inappropriate for a person in that position,” stated Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary.

Hot damn, that is got to be one of the most hypocritical statements so far in this administration. How funny can it get.

The crime is Anthony out Trumped Trump! THAT gets you fucking fired, dude!

Melania Trump and Ivanka were “disgusted” and “offended” by Scaramucci’s expletive-laden interview with the New Yorker Magazine. You know, being both plastic filled women and used to pussy grabbing just finds cock blocking something they have to do every time Orange-Tweet comes near them!

Melania even has gone as far as not even wanting to hold the hand that touches that part of Orange Tweets body. Now that shows good judgement!

 

But there will be more, so stay tuned for ************** the downfall of John Kelly as he ****************

“ENDS THE WHITE HOUSE CHAOS” episode 13.

See the Commander of Chaos chained to his chair just out of reach of the “tweet-machine”. It is called RADICAL INTERVENTION!

Oh, has anyone noticed that the Pentagon is setting up to hit North Korea? Hell folks, it is literally a tweet away form coming to pass. But look over here, as Garfunkel and Oates sings,  “This Party Took a Turn for the Douche”!

 

A CONSUMER WARNING

 

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