Archive for the ‘Bull Shit’ Category

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Wake Up Turkeys

 

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Just Say'en

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You know Tubularsock has been thinking about ISIS because Tubularsock doesn’t know what action is the patriotic thing to do.

Too much thinking CAN spoil the broth.

ISIS on the one hand is the evil of all evils. Or is that Dick Cheney? God! I get them so confused. ISIS on the other hand is the creation of the US, UK, and Israeli intelligence apparatus or at least that is what has been revealed by the leaked NSA documents by Edward Snowden. (Thanks Ed.)

The US, UK, and Israeli intelligence apparatus created a strategy known as the hornet’s nest in order to attract the fundamentalists from around the world to Syria to overthrow Assad’s Government.

Now does Tubularsock support ISIS because America created them or does Tubularsock not support ISIS because they are the most evil of evils, except for Dick Cheney? What would a real patriot do?

You see the U.S. wants a U.S.-friendly government in Syria. You know like a puppet government that would not cooperate with Iran and block the oil pipeline that is being built. If the Assad government had gone along with the U.S. and did their bidding then Syria would be classified as a wonderful world government. You know like Israel, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Kuwait all with police state governments. But that works for the United States much like the newly American created neo-nazi government now in the Ukraine.

The United States support of oppressive governments is done because it’s GOOD FOR BUSINESS but the mantra has always been that we are doing this to BRING DEMOCRACY to the people.

You guessed it ……. the mantra, in truth, goes like this:

BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT …

Try it …………… no, aloud. It’s got great rhythm like most truth does. 

Now anyone who is just this side of mental retardation knows all this already. But Tubularsock likes to keep his eye on the prize and that is that repetition keeps the facts from falling down that sucking rabbit hole. You see once the news cycle spins the bull shit to scare you then they move on and funny thing ……. they don’t review. Especially when the “new facts” show that the stories being pushed are FALSE. It’s called propaganda.

Which brings Tubularsock to this, that may have been skipped over by the maimed-streamed-media. A document released by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden revealed that Ibrahim al­ Samarrai AKA Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, the man who leads ISIS, is an intelligence asset. Well imagine that!

An Intelligence Asset? You know, a CIA patsy. And he is the guy that is leading this evil of all evil (besides Dick Cheney) military operation.

Funny story, Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi was radicalized by the 2003 invasion of Iraq and was captured in 2005 and spent four years in the United States’ Camp Bucca where he was constantly humiliated by the American forces much like the torture and humiliation conducted at Abu Ghraib Prison.

So here we have exactly why attacking and bombing isn’t effective. By doing it it only creates more terrorists and humiliation is a very powerful factor in solidifying resolve.

It has been reported that ISIS has grown in number by over 6000 since the beginning of this American bombing escapade. Now exactly what is it about the reality that bombing and drones create MORE terrorists that the Western mind doesn’t seem to understand?

It was reported around September 8th that Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi had been killed by the American bombing but it still hasn’t been officially confirmed. But even if this is true Tubularsock hopes we don’t have to go through that same silly game that we did with Osama bin Laden’s death —— do you recall, he was reported “confirmed-dead”  seven times! And now that he is reported at the bottom of the sea we still can’t say for sure that he isn’t hiding out in Geneva, Switzerland.

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And did “killing” bin Laden even matter to al Qaeda? Nope!

And if true, will Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi death matter to ISIS? Nope!

And if someone on Halloween reaches into Dick Cheney’s chest cavity and rips out his previously-owned heart and eats it ……… will that end evil? Well, Tubularsock thinks it may be a good start!

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Now Tubularsock was separating bull shit from reality with his new invention known as the BULLSHIT REMOVAL EXTRACTOR. Yes, Tubularsock knows that “removal” and “extractor” are redundant but you’ll have to admit so is BULLSHIT!

Anyway, there is not a whole lot to do in Tubularsock’s top floor corner office in his underground bunker in Oakland, CA overlooking Washington, D.C. so Tubularsock has to keep busy exposing the BULLSHIT REDUNDANCY . Hey, it’s like a quest!

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ISIS seems to be ALL that is happening in the entire world if you pay attention to the maimed-street-media.

Well guess what fellow travels ………..

Not much has changed ……. it is all focus.

NSA are still spying on you …… nothing has changed. Congress spoke about being upset and going to do something BUT they went on their “Summer Recess” and then ISIS appeared and they voted to support bombing them and then called for a “surprise” break and they won’t return until the FIRST WEEK IN DECEMBER! Oh yeah, just in time for their Christmas Recess. No, really Congress is going to be in session for a good four days this year …… really? Tubularsock’s sure of it, if you count what they have accomplished!

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Hello …….. planet earth can you read me?

Oh, and MH-17 is still being investigated by the “international-community” (aka the united states being omni-present) and the first emphasis was that the investigation was NOT going to cast “blame” but they are going to investigate the “facts”.

Bottom line is that the Puppet-Ukrainian-Government supported by the United States shot down the Malaysian passenger plane and the Russians and the Russian Ukrainian Supporters were not responsible. Those are the facts that are coming out of the investigation but the maimed-streamed-media just doesn’t seem to notice.

And then there is ……. wait for it ……… the Kim Kardashian nude “hacked” photos!

You know in truth, Tubularsock doesn’t know who in the fuck Kim Kardashian really is but she seems to appear every time any odd international news crops up.

And seriously, have you ever seen Kim in her “regular-clothes?” It is all focus.

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How is “nudity” different?

And Tubularsock doesn’t want to pry, but when was the last time YOU took photos of yourself nude and posted them so they could be hacked?

Oh ……… the BULLSHIT REMOVAL EXTRACTOR is going off the charts so Tubularsock has to cool down the system …….. Like later!

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NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY 

NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS: THE SECRETARY OF THE INFERIOR — MISSING?

 

 

 

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Well “good morning America how are ya?”(City of New Orleans by Steve Goodman)

Tubularsock has been hangin’ in the bunker in awe and amazement once again over how the shit that is spewed from the United States Government’s propaganda machine works so well. Even though it is straight-up lies and then those lies are smeared with bat shit. People in this country eat it right up. And EVEN the Europeans are at the table.

Well it only goes to show that vested interests dine at the same trough.

The entire propaganda ploy is really simple: Create and control the narrative FIRST.

That means that once you implement your fiendish plan you control the emotional thought patterns of the people.

You then continue to repeat the false narrative often regardless of what REAL truth comes out.

It is all a ploy but it works. And it has been used repetitively.

Need examples?

Simple!

9/11 …………… On the day the three buildings at the World Trade Center collapsed into they own footprint and in truck-able sized steel pieces the controlled narrative was being propagated.

And that narrative. Osama bin Laden did it!

Tubularsock hadn’t even finished his first cup of coffee before he was told that Osama bin Laden did it and that was repeated every minute of every day for years.

And why did Osama bin Laden do it?

He didn’t like our freedom.

Now remember that information was put out there so fast that the smoke hadn’t even cleared New York yet.

Not only that but ALL the news outlets knew EVERYTHING about Osama bin Laden even the address of the cave he was planning all this from in Afghanistan!

Now who was feeding the news media this information? Oh, come on …… just guess.

Remember ………… No one could have possibly THOUGHT that someone would fly planes into buildings said Condo-Rice and Little-bush-shit. So then how could they ALL know who did it and where he was and why he did it AND put it out to the media so rapidly?

And to this day if you would like to clear a space for yourself on a city bus or have room to drink alone at a cocktail party or to find alone time in a full cafe all you have to do is start to question the 9/11 narrative. The bull shit produced by the U.S. government has worked THAT well!

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AND TO SEAL THE DEAL: To this day the majority of Americans still believe that Saddam Insane had something to do with the attack on 9/11!

EVEN after both Little-bush-shit and torture-cheney have come out and said that they had never said what they said about Saddam’s involvement. EVEN when you can see them say it on video and also see them say they didn’t say what they said on video.

Bottom line: The one out first with the narrative, even though it’s a lie, is the narrative that sticks in the minds of the masses! PERIOD!

Assad used chemical weapons on his own people ……………

That narrative was pushed by the American Government in the media and Assad was condemned and assailed as a heartless murderer.

Well, he didn’t do that!

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It was discovered by international investigation that it was the U.S. supported terrorists that used chemical weapons on people. NOT the Assad Government.

It was because of that information that Obama had to drop the bombing of Syria idea.

But Obummer knew that ALL THE TIME.

Yet, just this week Tubularsock was reading a current article that referenced Assad’s use of chemical weapons ……….. remember the FIRST narrative sticks!

Which bring us to what Tubularsock  wanted to talk about …………  The flight of MH17 and it’s demise over Ukraine.

Now to many Tubularsock readers you already know this because you keep up with the BSN (bull-shit-narrative). For you, you can use your extra time by not reading further and polishing your Molotov cocktails. Or for many of you polishing off any kind of cocktails for that matter!

Now that the room is cleared …………..

Propaganda is much like a horse race. You want your horse out of the gate FIRST because that is the narrative that will be remembered.

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And what came out first? Russia was responsible, PERIOD!

No proof, no investigation, no nothing EXCEPT ……… Russia was responsible, PERIOD!

That is the first hint that the narrative is false and of course …….. it is!

And then the corollary narrative ……… the Pro-Russian rebels were responsible which is equally false.

A simple trick Tubularsock always uses when these incidents occur is logic.

Why would Russia blow up an international flight of civilians over another country? What would be their advantage in doing that?

To what advantage would the Pro-Russian rebels have in blowing up an international flight of civilians?

To win friends and influence people? Come now!

So it is obvious that there is NO advantage for either of them to do this …….. nada!

So that leaves the American-puppet government of Ukraine.

And from the facts so far on the ground it appears that MH17 was shot down by the American-puppet government of Ukraine’s air-force. Not by a ground missile.

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And the reason Tubularsock feels this information may be the correct answer is also based on logic.

And the logic goes like this ……….

The Russians have released satellite imagery showing that MH17 was in the same airspace with two Ukraine jet fighters just before the “incident”. There also were no sign of ground missile activity. But the Russian imagery is not as technologically as clear as the imagery that the spy satellite that the United States had flying over the same area would be IF THE U.S. RELEASED THAT IMAGERY.

Which means that OBUMMER KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED and rest assured that if it “proved” that Russia was really responsible it would have been out of the gate weeks ago.

That for Tubularsock PROVES that the American narrative is a pack of shit!

Also recall that a few days after MH17 going down the U.S. released satellite imagery showing Russian missiles being fired across their border into Ukraine to help the Pro-Russian rebels. And ranting about that “unlawful” activity.

Which only shows Tubularsock that the satellite imagery the U.S. has of the downing of MH17 does not support the American narrative!

CASE CLOSED.

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Have you noticed how Vice President Joe Biden has disappeared from view?

If he wants to try to run for President in 2016 he has to do two things:

 

1. Distance himself from Step-an’-Fetch-It-Obummer ………

 

 2. Shut the fuck up so he doesn’t embarrass everyone with being himself.

 

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

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From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

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The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

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A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

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(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

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footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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